a new home || sleepyboisinc

- O N E H U N D R E D & T W E L V E -

cw/tw - derealization?

~ tommys pov ~

i was sat in the office and i had no clue why, i hadn't done anything bad. people have it out for me and i know it, whenever something happens i always get the bad end of it.

i bet phil, wilbur and techno are out for me as well, even mrs. puffy, she's out for me. they all are and that's why they're sending me away, they don't want me around so they're sending me half an hour away.

it may not seem far but it's not exactly like i can walk is it? i bet lisa and steve aren't even my relatives, i bet my parents are alive and they never even died.

i bet they aren't even real.

wait a minute.

am i real?

i look at my hands, my vision was blurred all around me. this isn't real, this isn't me. this is all a simulation and it's not like anyone here cares about me, nothings real either so it doesn't really matter what i do.

"tommy"

mr.hill waved his hands in front of my face which eventually pulled me out of the trance i was trapped in for i don't even know how long, i didn't know the time, i didn't know how long i was zoned out for but it doesn't really matter.

nothing matters.

"huh? what?" i ask not raising my head, still staring down at my hands.

"you alright? i've been trying to talk to you but you've been ignoring me" he responds.

"oh um sorry, can i go?"

"no tommy, are you okay? you seem off"

"yeah i'm fine" i lean in slightly and whisper "is this real?"

"what? of course it is tommy, you're real and so am i, are you feeling alright mate?"

i swallow the lump in my throat "yeah yeah i'm fine, can i go? i don't wanna miss next lesson"

"you've still got half and hour left, you can stay here" he tells me "you sure you're feeling okay?"

i nod, it was a lie but i didn't want more people worrying about him, even if i was feeling okay it wouldn't matter anyway. he's just here for money anyway, he doesn't care about me, he just cares about the pay check at the end of the month.

he's just like phil, he's only with me for the money. a bit of extra money for him to spend on himself and his kids, just like mrs. puffy, she doesn't have kids but she sure doesn't care for me.

none of them care for me and i'm all on my own but it's fine, i've been like this for a while now, on my own without anyone to help me. many people have been there to 'help' but they never did, it just made it worse.

he was typing on his computer and not long later there was a knock on the door, mr. hill shouted to come in. a figure entered that i recognised immediately, it was techno.

'why is he here?' i thought.

he scurried over to me "you alright tommy?"

"huh? what yeah, i'm fine, why are you here?" i furrow my eyebrows.

"i don't know but it's obvious somethings up?"

we both looked at mr. hill confused and he spoke up "can i talk to you outside techno?"

"yeah" he slowly nodded and stood up "i'll be back in a minute tommy, alright?"

i nod back and wait for them to come back, i didn't know how long it was but i observed the whole room and it was calming. being in an empty room with different colours on the walls and photos was relaxing.

complete silence in the room was different to me, ever since i was young i've lived in loud care homes and foster homes so having misophonia is probably the worst thing to happen to me.