Candy ✔ (In Editing)

-Chapter Fifty Four

"Lerato, my baby girl, talk to me." My dad said as he sat down on the bed next to me.

"I should've listened to you Daddy. I should've stayed here in South Africa with you. I should've stayed away from guys. You always told me no guy was deserving of me and I never believed you. I thought there was a right guy for out there, someone like you but no all men are the same, aren't they Daddy? I'm being punished for not listening to my elders." I said and broke into tears.

"Hush my baby girl," my dad said as he pulled me closer, "No one is punishing you. All those things I said is only because I couldn't accept that you were growing up an I couldn't do anything to stop that from happening."

"It doesn't matter anymore, I'm done for." I said starring into space.

"You know what, I'm fine. I feel all better now. I'll go and—"

"Lerato..." my dad interrupted.

"I'm fine, Daddy really." I said and forced a smile on my face. I kicked the covers off my body and stood up from my bed. Mama walked in with a surprised look on her face.

"You're up." She said surprised. She stood next to my dad and looked up at him in question. My dad shrugged, clearly unsure of what to say.

I chuckled at their expressions and went into my bathroom. I dropped the clothing I had in my hands to change on the floor and stepped into the shower in my clothing. I turned on the shower and sunk against the glass door.

I let everything go, I let all the tears that I haven't shed yet which is surprisingly a lot considering all I did was cry nowadays. This was me allowing myself to feel sorry for myself. I didn't care about all my failed relationships anymore they were the least of my worries. I had greater things to worry about, way greater.

Why does it have to be me? I'm so tired of everything that keeps on happening to me. I'm tired of all my sorrows adding up into a large heap of troubles. At this point I'm don't even know if I'm still sane enough to deal with this but I know I have to. My bad news will only bring nothing but sadness to everyone I love instead of rejoicing at the good news the bad news brings. It makes sense to keep this to myself. I can't be selfish even at the expense of my own sanity or mental health. I have to be strong and keep a good smile on my face for everyone I love. They don't deserve the pain the news will cause them and since I'm on the receiving end I guess maybe I do deserve this.

I wiped my tears away. I chuckled when my cheeks became wet again because of the water pouring down on me. I stood up, took off my wet clothing and did my hygiene process, slower than usual. I was so into my thoughts I didn't here Mama knock on the door rapidly asking if I'm okay.

"I'm fine Mama!" I yelled, turning off the shower. I wrapped a towel around my body.

"Well, get out of there. You've been in there for too long." She said. Ahh, so now I'm a danger to myself. Can't say I blame them though but from now on I'm not letting them stress about me.

"I'll be out in ten minutes Mama, I promise."

"Okay, I love you." She said and I smiled a sad smile as I looked at my naked form, looking for any changes to my body.

"I love you too, Mama."

• • •

"No no, you guys cheated!" My cousins said to Naledi and I.

We were playing a game of cards in teams. I was paired up with Naledi because the girl could probably become an instant billionaire if you took her to a poker game. She had great memory and it was necessary for the specific game we were playing. Naledi is good at almost any game that doesn't include physical work, actually she is the best at mind games and everyone knows that. But each time my cousins have hope that they might beat her at the games, they should know better than that honestly although it is fun to watch them fail to a girl who is twice as younger as them.