The albatross journey

63 - I will not leave you

Can

I slowly come back to reality when it's a little while before the sound of my, actually "our" alarm clock. I don't need to open my eyes to know I'm in paradise, I just need to feel Sanem's warm body clutched against mine as she sleeps with her head resting on my chest and her hair spread over my abdomen.
I can't stop myself from holding her a little tighter to me, I feel the constant need to feel her close, her skin brushing and clinging to my body as much as possible seems never enough. We lived an incredible night, full of love and infinite passion.
I thought that the previous one, our first night, her first time and my first time with the woman I love had been exceptional, but tonight was, if possible, something even more special.
Every doubt, every reservation was swept away, I told her what I felt deep in my heart, I confessed all my love to her and promised never to let her go again.
I love her more than myself and I felt the luckiest man in the world when she admitted that she loved me and decided to give me her trust and her heart again.
I open my eyes and look up at the ceiling, at that heart-shaped balloon I bought on impulse last night before I went home. Stopped at a traffic light, I absent-mindedly looked at the shop windows across the street and a party shop inspired me with a new idea to surprise her and declare my feelings. I never thought my message could shake her so deeply, I just wrote on that card what I feel, what is my greatest wish for the future: to love her.

The insistent ringing of the doorbell, her standing outside the door with the balloon in her hand symbolically handing me her heart were the most unexpected and beautiful surprise I could have ever expected.

We promised each other the purest and most sincere love, we loved each other all night long, both of us finally free to show each other every nuance of a passion that I know will never fail because it is that of souls that find each other and intertwine because they feel they belong together.

I lower my gaze to look at her face as I slowly stroke her hair, I've always loved touching it, I'd never stop, but unfortunately we have another day on the set ahead of us and I want to let her sleep a little longer while I go downstairs to prepare breakfast.

I move slowly so as not to wake her and guide her to rest her cheek on the pillow. I get out of bed and slip into a comfortable suit while I can't take my eyes off the silhouette of her naked body clearly outlined under the sheet.
I'd better hurry up and get downstairs to make breakfast or there won't be any photo shoot today. I'd like to savour every moment with her, I'd like to spend the whole day admiring and loving her, but we have obligations we both know we can't escape.

I go down the stairs and start to prepare something, shortly after I hear the front door open, I look out into the hallway and catch my father entering the house with the caution of a thief. I approach him just as cautiously while his back is turned and I give him a firm hand on the shoulder.
- Is this the time to go back in, Mr Aziz? - I see him startled.
- Do  you want give me a heart attack? -
I laugh heartily at his guilty expression, he looks like a teenager caught up in a mischief.

-Come on Aziz, keep me company for a moment while I make breakfast-.

He nods and follows me into the kitchen, he sits at the table while I move between the cookers for a few moments then I turn around and lean on the counter.

- Upstairs is Sanem sleeping, daddy-

He looks at me in amazement and then gives me a serious look.
- Do you know what you're doing this time Can? You know she's a special girl, you know her traditions, you can't take your relationship with her lightly, you know what's right, don't you?

- I'm not asking for anything better Aziz, I'm not asking for anything else but to do the right thing with her this time, you can be sure of that. I still can't believe she gave me another chance. I really feared I had lost her, if I hadn't followed her here... - I feel a shiver of terror run down my spine - I don't even want to think about it -

He nods and looks at me with the look of someone who knows exactly what I'm talking about.

- You have no idea how deeply I can understand your fears Can.
I was now convinced that I had lost my Mihriban forever.
After all these years I didn't think it was possible for me to be happy, without her I know I can't be happy at all. I had resigned myself to being alone and living a peaceful life, but constantly half-hearted.
I was always missing something, someone essential for all these years, so many years of love and happiness lost.

I'm glad you managed to find each other again Can, don't waste any more time, love each other and live fully the joy that only the soul that is meant for us can give us.
Having said that, I'm going to the guest room and leave the field free for your romantic breakfast.

He gets up to walk towards the door, I can't help poking him some more - Hey Mr. Aziz , you didn't tell me why come you came back at the crack of dawn -

He turns to look at me with a light-hearted smile - I'm a gentleman and anyway I think I've reached the right age to keep late hours without being accountable to anyone, what do you think? -

We both laugh as he disappears down the corridor to go to sleep. I'm happy for him, he's blossoming again thanks to Mihriban, I wish him to have finally found the other half of his existence and to be able to finally live a full life next to her.

I go back to the cooker whistling happily for the turn our life is taking, Ankara and this lake have brought good luck to both of us allowing us to reunite with the women of our lives. I still can't believe how fate could guide Sanem here next to Mihriban and then lead me, and then my father, to find our lost love.

I am surprised by two arms that suddenly hold me, I feel the tiny figure of the woman I love clinging to my back while a voice still hoarse from sleep whispers in my ear - I missed you -.

I turn off the gas and turn in her embrace to hold her and me, she's wearing my shirt and the sight of her shoulder left bare by the oversized neckline drives me crazy, but this is unfortunately not the time and place for anything other than a very sweet kiss.

-Günaydın aşkım, good morning my love, I missed you too during these 15 minutes of distance - We smile happily exchanging a look of pure love.

However, I see Sanem's expression darken for a moment. I look at her questioningly inviting her to speak, I don't want her to have any more hidden fears, I want to share every worry with her.

She nods, taking the message and sighing she tells me the reason for her uneasiness - Tomorrow the filming will end, I guess you have to go back to Istanbul...-.

I smile, I drag her with me to a chair where I sit with her on my lap, I take her hand and bring it to my lips and then I tell her clearly how things stand - Dear Sanem, maybe you haven't understood that I didn't decide last night to want to be with you always, in fact it is a decision made months ago during my trip to the Balkans. I came here with the intention of never leaving you again Sanem, I never thought of going back to Istanbul after my service for the Zarafet campaign. I have already made arrangements with the director of Dream eye, who by the way is a good friend of mine, to continue working with them as long as you were here in Ankara. So, I'm not going anywhere, I'm here and here I'll stay until we leave for Smirne -

She looks at me surprised, opens and closes her mouth unable to utter a word for a few moments then she just throws her arms around my neck, places a thousand kisses on my face and then gives me the most beautiful kiss, one of those that smells of love and relief.

When we return to look into each other's eyes I feel my heart burst with emotion - Do you understand or not that you'll never get rid of me Sanem? -

She gives me a smile in love like the one I think I have on my face and, holding my face in her hands, she strokes my beard softly whispering in an almost moved voice.

- Allah Allah Can bay, can you believe me when I tell you that I want nothing more than to have you at my feet every moment for the next sixty years and more?