The albatross journey

32 - Two days

Can

I'm living these days without her in a hectic whirlwind of work commitments, contacts and meetings to organise my life in the best possible way after the launch of the HXC Cosmetics advertising campaign. I've been extremely lucky and everything seems to be coming together for the best, I'm confident for the future and I feel that, if everything goes as planned, I'll be able to show her that this time I'm serious and I have no intention of giving up.

I miss my Sanem so much, now more than ever, now that she's actually closer than she was when I was in the Balkans, I miss her and I live her absence more intensely, maybe because I'm afraid I won't be able to break down the walls she built, brick by brick, to defend her heart from me.
Ah, if he could imagine how much I long to caress and love that big heart that has always been able to open up and give so much to everyone and that has given so much to me too, I realise it now. She did it by giving away the recipe for her perfume to see me out of prison and I was able to condemn her for it. I still can't get over how I could have been so dense as to walk away and leave her behind, I abandoned her, I hurt her and let her down in the worst way but now my life's purpose is to make her understand that the only thing I ask for is another chance to love her with all of myself.
I must succeed at all costs and I will do anything to achieve this.

At the agency everything is almost ready, the campaign is now defined, only the last touches are missing and we are perfectly on schedule, everything is fitting together perfectly and we are getting closer and closer to the moment when I will see her again.

The date set by Emre to go to Aydin's house to ask for Layla's hand is just around the corner and I see my brother beside himself with happiness while I can't help thinking that if I had been less reckless and cowardly, I would have faced my fears and things would be very different now.
The date set could have been the date when my brother and I would have both gone to ask for the hand of the two Aydin sisters and I can't get over it. My heart sinks every time I think that, if I had acted differently, she could have already been mine, in every sense and every moment of the day and night: girlfriend, wife, friend, lover and mother of my children, my woman forever.

Damn you Can Divit!
But I mustn't let myself be taken by discouragement, all this can still be if I will be able to play the right cards and I will know, without reservations and without hiding what I feel, to show her and make her understand how much I love her.

What has happened has changed me deeply and I am sure that only by opening my heart to her sincerely and completely will I be able to win her back.

For now, the only person to whom I have told what happened with Sanem, how I felt when I left and how I feel now that I fear losing her, is my father.
I've told him everything, I've been honest about how stupid my behaviour was and how much I made her suffer, I've told him about all my regrets but also my hopes for the future. Only with him, since always, am I able to bare my soul, to be sincere to the core and that's exactly what I did listening to his wise words carefully.

- As I told you if she is meant for you Can will go back to where she really belongs, but that doesn't mean you won't have to work hard my boy, you made a mistake with this girl and you will have to work hard, from what I understand, to win back her trust and her heart.
But don't you dare give up, ever, for any reason.
Fight for her relentlessly or you will regret it for the rest of your life as it was for me -

I looked at him intently, surprised by his words - What do you mean as it was for you -

- It's a long story my boy, one day I will tell you, what you have to keep in mind is that you can spend a lifetime regretting a wrong choice son, a lifetime -

I will keep her words in mind and do everything to make sure that doesn't happen, I am doing and will do everything to bring her back into my arms.

We're almost there, in two days Sanem will be back in Istanbul and my plan will begin, I'm finishing preparing the files to be sent to the copy shop for the printing of the posters that will invade every district of the city with her "Obsession", the perfume that will always remind me of my obsession for something that was nothing without her, something that was just an expedient that allowed me to find her and recognise her, that captivated me from the first moment but never like the warmth of that look or the light of that smile that only she can give me.