He is gone, Can is gone, and Sanem must learn to live his life without the one who had become the centre, the essence.
Two souls hundreds of kilometres apart, lost but never forgotten, two hearts beating the same rhythm without having the courage t...
The journey to Ankara was not easy, not because of a million conflicting emotions that took hold of me so much so that even the fact that it was the first time I had set foot on an aeroplane was overshadowed and I was not able to get as excited as I had always imagined I would be.
It was all there, fear, regret, excitement, enthusiasm. There was everything and the opposite of everything.
His presence at the airport and his words had affected me deeply, the Sanem who had always been in love with him, and probably always will be, had rejoiced at his apology and when he had said he loved me, had always loved me. However, it was the Sanem who had to go through the hell of abandonment and betrayal of her own feelings that took over, the wound is still open and painful and I believe it can never heal completely. Hearing him say that he will not give up, that I will always be in his thoughts made my intentions waver for a few moments, but once again the memory of the anguish I felt when I saw him leaving next to that woman brought me back to my feet on the ground and gave me the strength and determination to go on with my life and remain firm in the decision to leave.
It could no longer be with us, not after what had happened and what I had experienced at his hands, I could no longer trust him and I had to persist in my intention to look ahead. I was excited because my life was taking a sudden and unforeseen turn, it seemed that every possibility was opening up before my eyes: a new job, a new house, a new city. Even though love was no longer a part of my existence, work would give meaning to my daily life from now on.
I spend the first night in a hotel not far from the Hyal Etmek headquarters, staying up late unable to close my eyes for fear of having inappropriate thoughts about someone who can no longer be part of my life. I turn on my laptop to carefully study the map of Ankara and see that the agency has its headquarters in the southern suburbs, right next to Valley Park, a huge green park that extends for hectares and hectares in the centre of the city. I search for a flat in the surrounding area, trying to imagine how I would like the place where I want to live in my new life to be. Immediately my interest fell on a lake just to the south, Eymir Lake, and a quick online search returned images of a tranquil body of water surrounded by pine-covered hills, lots of greenery and peace. I started looking for flats for rent and came across an advertisement for a semi-detached house with a garden, not far from the lake.
I instantly fell in love with it, I felt it was the one for me and I immediately sent an e-mail to book a meeting with the real estate agent who is in charge of renting the property. I turn off the light and lie down, it's almost morning, but the images of that lake and all the green that surrounds it, have contributed to relax me and make me feel confident in what awaits me, everything will be fine I'm sure.
The next day I prepare myself carefully for my first day at the Hyal Etmek, I arrive at the agency and I feel a bit nervous at the idea of not knowing anyone, but all my fears are swept away by a cyclone of exuberance called Dilara. She's the collaborator Hakan had told me about, a beautiful girl with long raven hair and a contagious smile, she seems to be able to speak clearly, without mincing her words, intelligent and at times almost impertinent. She immediately puts me at ease, introducing me to the members of the team and taking me on a tour of the various offices to introduce me to the agency. They all seem to be very friendly and the environment is extremely welcoming and colourful. I like it, I instinctively feel that I will enjoy working here and with this new team.
Dilara tale me in my office, the first thing I do as soon as I enter is to pull back the curtains to look outside and I can't help but be enchanted by the view of the park below where, at this time of year, the trees are a riot of shades of every colour. Even this detail contributes to making me feel good, I feel that it is right that I am here and that everything will go well, I sigh and turn to Dilara who is asking me - Ready to start? - I smile happily and excitedly as I haven't been for a long time - Evet yes absolutely yes, come on let's get started -
I immerse myself in my work for hours without ever taking my attention away from every detail that needs to be assimilated quickly if I want to be fully operational for Hakan's arrival in a few days. I eat something while sitting at my desk and I don't wake up until hours later when I realize that I have to move immediately if I don't want to be late for the appointment with the real estate agent.
I say goodbye to Dilara, thanking her for her valuable cooperation, and go downstairs to take a taxi to Eymir Lake. It takes about 40 minutes, which is more than acceptable compared to the terrible traffic I am used to in Istanbul.
As soon as the taxi passes the last bend and I can see in front of me the semi-detached house of which I have already seen the photos online, I can't help but fall in love with it at first sight, in reality the place is even more beautiful than it appeared in the photos, surrounded by greenery and immersed in the peace of this natural oasis apparently so far away, but in reality extremely close to the capital of Turkey.
The agent tells me that both parts of the house are free and that I can choose which side I prefer, I look around and decide for the one that does not border the road in order to have more peace and privacy. The interior is as charming as the exterior, furnished with care and extremely welcoming, I have no doubt, this is the place for me.
Before leaving, the agent shows me a path through the woods that in just over five minutes takes me directly to the lake shore and, if I had any doubts, they would have been swept away by the wonder I find myself admiring. If I have always loved to stop and watch the waves of the Bosphorus for hours now I know that I will never tire of the peace of this place, it is what I need right now.
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For a moment I think that Can would love this corner of the world made of uncontaminated nature enormously and, knowing him, he would be enraptured as much as I am by the peace and silence that characterises it. An instant after thinking this, I redeem myself by calling myself a fool, that's it, I don't have to think about him anymore. He is no longer part of my life, that's what he wanted and I must come to terms with it.
I sign the rental contract and go back to Ankara for the last night in the hotel, the next day I will take my luggage to the new house before going to the office. I am eager and excited to start working on the new advertising campaigns and to spend all my free time in this wonderful place that, I am sure, will help me to heal the wounds of a devastated soul, still unable to forget that very special love that could have been everything but was betrayed and rejected because he considered it less than nothing.
