.The Shadow Knight.

-49-

"Life is not eternal, times comes to an end for all."

I shook my head, I hated how I never know what he's going to say, speaking before tragedy strikes.

"Not to all." I said out loud.

"We've not spoken in many cycles and such is the time you answer me for the first time since then?"

"I have my reasons, you granted me my magic but you still insist on talking to me, I do not need your guidance, you are not my guide, that spirit left me and crossed onto its next life."

"Your future is shrouded in mystery for all but myself child of men."

"Believe what you will and I will to you over-sized owl shaped night sky."

"You'll know the truth soon enough, for that I will wait and you'll learn the truth."

I shook my head, chasing the voice out of my head as I exited the castle through a doorway landing me on the top of the wall.

The downpour instantly drenched my outfit and stuck my hair to my face, I glared at the parts I could see, what if it hadn't been white? that woman wouldn't have known it was me, she wouldn't have targeted those I know and toyed with me.

I looked out at the desolation caused to the town bellow and looked up at the far right to see the bloody battle field no one dared to enter from both sides, the enemy and our soldiers waiting, ready to move then the other did, a stalemate having formed since the initial attack.

Even knowing the loss of the two princes on the opposing side didn't bring me comfort.

I closed my eyes and lowered my head.

We lost so many that day.

And all of it is my fault.

I couldn't look at my shadows even, one of them buried somewhere beneath the rubble, the body of the young and brave farmer boy Karem still unaccounted for, he couldn't get a proper burial as he was not found.

Maler, Aron and Edamon were all affected, loosing one of them so fast and suddenly was hard, it weighed on me even if on the inside I knew the first battle someone fought was the hardest to survive.

We lost many good men, few who I knew but felt responsible for, all of it came looping back to me like a blade on a rope, swung out and twisting to stab through my back on the road back.

Sel... Oh Sel I am so sorry.

I brought my hand to my face as I hoped off the wall, boots splashing through the courtyard as I approached the castle again.

I caused all of this, me, I am the reason, she was tired from training, she was inexperienced, she believed in my my words.... And I broke all my promised to her.

The halls of the castle were empty when normally there were at least guards or maids and butlers around, despite the dark clouds overhead no crystal torch was lit up, probably because of how those caused the explosions.

I walked the dim halls absently.

It is all my fault, it is all my fault.

All of it.

If I just had not done when I did, none of this would have happened.

It's my fault so many lives got wrapped into this, Wynna, Lilia, Layla, Maler, Karem, Aron, Edamon, Owen, Sel.... Even ELise and the others, my actions brought this upon us.

My forehead bounced off wood and I looked up, so deep in my thoughts even a straight up door could sneak up on me and it couldn't even move.

I laid a hand on its surface, I was back in the royal quarters, my room laid opposite of this one.

"Sel." I muttered, voice heavy with pain, this is why shadow knights are hidden away or at least partially, we are so few to be shadow knights and the best but all those that know of us know that our life expectancy never reaches over 40 year old, all of the shadow knights in history of humanity having fallen in battle and none has ever gotten a proper burial as we were unknown people when a corpse was found, dumped into mass graves.

My father... He loved my mother but she never loved him, shadow knights are assigned spouses to create a stronger shadow knight in the neck generation. He had to live with the pain of knowing she and all his children would die in his lifetime.

I closed my fist and slammed it against the wood, resting my forehead against it, my chest tight. this is why mother never loved him, if she did she'd have to live with the guilt of death.

"Shadow knights are not supposed to care!!!" I yelled at the door as I saw her in front of my eyes. "We cannot care!! It's too risky!!"

But deafening silence answered as my fist hit the wood again, jerking the door open.... Her lock was always a bit iffy, too easily popped open without even a key.

I stepped in with a heavy heart, her room was like mine but there was a few potted plants on the window's edge.

I walked over and sat on her bed, almost hearing her complain when I would come wake her up.

"I am so sorry." I apologized, resting my hand where her head would have laid when she slept and for once I don't know who I was asking forgiveness from, my father whom I left behind to grieve thinking I died? Sel's magehood siblings who probably just learnt of her demise? Elise who lost countless of her empire? The Solor queens to have failed at my purpose? Sel for failing her? My mother for letting her live after what they turned her into? Myself? I don't know anymore.

I lifted my hand up and spotted a little thin rope stick out from under the pillow, having slightly moved it.

I lifted it up and tears uncontrollably sprang to my eyes.

It was a roughly made necklace with a chipped and uneven orange-ish yellow gem stone on it, it was really badly made and yet.

"Quartz." I whispered. 

"What if I made you one then? So we can be matching?"

Her voice rang out in my ears as I carefully lifted the necklace to eye level, scared to do anything with it as I wrapped my hand around the stone and my other around my own hand.

I lowered my head as I pressed the necklace to my chest, tears falling from my eyes again.