Karma (Wattpad Exclusive)

4. Anger, Rage and Grief

Ruth looked around, making sure no one was watching her as she made her way behind the school building. She took the flag out of her bag and threw it on the ground. Squatting down, she struck a matchstick and lit the flag on fire. She stood up and watched it burn. Someone placed their hand on her shoulder's causing her to jump. She turned around and saw Dorian. He stepped forward and threw the pillow he received into the fire. "Gosh, you scared me," Ruth muttered.

   "Do you know who is doing all this?" Dorian asked.

   "No. Do you?" she replied, staring at the fire.

   "I think it might be Ila."

   "Nah she won't do anything against her mum."

   "We should figure this out."

   Ruth chuckled and looked at him, "There is no we, Dorian. We aren't a team. We are not on the same page." Her voice dripped with hate.

   "C'mon Ruth, we are the only two people this has happened to. We both are victims of this problem. We need to solve it."

   "Rosie was the victim of our selfishness. Not us. We probably deserve this," Ruth replied.

   "Don't be like this! She had a choice. She took her life. I know you feel guilty because she jumped in front of you. I understand, but trust me, it's not your fault," he said, placing his hand on her shoulder. Ruth shrieked his hand off and stepped back. "No Dorian, you don't understand. You weren't the one who watched your best friend kill herself in front of you. You are not the one who has to deal with the guilt. Like maybe if I had to run faster, I could have caught her."

   "You think I don't feel guilty?"

   Sarcasm dripped in his tone as she chuckled and replied, "Sure you do."

   "I really do."

   "Well Dorian, if you felt guilty you wouldn't have cheated on her."

   "It was just a kiss."

   "Sure it was," she said, rolling her eyes. Ruth grabbed her water bottle and poured water on the fire.

   "I swear!"

   Dear readers, I warn you: don't be fooled by him. This boy is full of bullshit and was only trying to get Ruth under his charm.

   Ruth ignored him and started walking away. "Ruth wait. Ruth!" she turned around and yelled, "What do you want?!"

   "Let's help each other," he offered with a smile. She saw his dimples pop, and it reminded her of the countless number of times Rosie would gush about it.

   "I don't need your help and I'm not helping you either. There is no We. You are on your own. Now leave me alone."

   Dorian quickly grabbed her wrist before she can leave. "Can you at least tell me if you get anything like this again?"

   "Fine." She pulled her hand and walked away. Her legs trembled as she suddenly felt weak. There was a sudden burst of emotions mixed with anger, grief, and rage. She placed her hand on a lamppost for support, as she felt dizzy. Tears rolled down her cheeks and her lips quivered. "Stupid Dorian. Stupid idiot," she cursed as she clenched and unclenched her fist. "Rosie loved him and he fucking cheated on her and had the audacity to pretend to me," she spoke to herself. She caught a few people looking at her. She quickly bent her head in embarrassment and walked away. It started to rain and Ruth groaned. By the time she got to Rosie's house, she was soaking. She stood on the front porch and rang the doorbell.

   Mr. Davis opened the door. "Ruth! Come in. Your friend is here too." Ruth frowned, wondering who it was as she walked in. But then her eyes fell on Amelia and her question was answered. Ruth stared at her, but Amelia avoided her.

   Funny, isn't it? After all that she did, she still has the face to come to Rosie's house and talk to her parents like nothing happened. What I also find funny is how Rosie's dad hasn't gone back to Sweden after her death. Ironic how he was barely around when Rosie needed him. But now that she was gone, he was here. That's the problem with most people. They realize things too late and regret their actions. I wonder if Ruth's dad will come back if she dies?

   "Honey, why don't you go upstairs and change into Rose's clothes and then join us for coffee?" Mr. Davis told Ruth.

   Ruth nodded. That's the time Isolda walked in. She rolled her eyes, looking at Ruth, and then bounced her way to Amelia. She sat beside her with an enormous smile. Amelia looked at her and smiled back. Ruth watched this as she clenched her fist. She stormed upstairs and went into Rosie's bedroom. Ruth walked into Rosie's closet and closed the door. The smell of her lavender perfume filled the room. She grabbed a purple dress from the hanger and hugged it to her chest. Ruth sat down and let out a soft sob, "Where are you? I miss you so much," she whispered. Right then, her phone rang. She walked out of the closet and grabbed it from her bag. It was Ila.

   "H-hello," her voice cracked.

   "Ey, Whatcha up to? Do you want to hang?"

   "Oh, I'm a-at Rosie's." She sniffled. "house."

   "Ey, Are you okay?"

   "You won't believe who is here," Ruth said as she sat on the floor.

   "Who?"

   "Amelia."

   "Bruh for real?"

   "Yes. She is downstairs talking to Isolda. L-like nothing happened. She didn't even look at me, but with Isolda she was all smiles."

   "What a bitch," Ila muttered.

   "It makes me so angry," Ruth replied, and closed her eyes. She took a deep breath and sighed.

   "I know. It's frustrating."

   "Like Rosie hated her. We all did. Isolda was never nice to any of us and now suddenly she loves Amelia and Amelia loves her. It's like she just replaced Rosie. Ugh, how can she?"

   "Bruh I know... Have you seen them in school? Isolda follows Amelia everywhere in school. She's like her little pet."

   "Yeah, fucking annoying. I wanna slap them so bad."

   "Do you want me to come over?" Ila asked.

   "No. It's fine. I'm okay."

   "Are you sure? You didn't seem okay in school too? Also, did something happen?"

   "No, not really." Ruth couldn't tell her about the flag, at least not right now.

   Ila knew something was wrong. She couldn't help but notice how Ruth was deep in thoughts at school that day. But she didn't push her. "Okay, if you say so. Come over to mine later then?"

   "Sure."