World Gone Mad (TMR fic 3)

Chapter 42

(song~)

After what must be a couple of hours of crying brokenly, I head back down to the warehouse. Vince looks up at me when I enter his office.

"How are you?" he asks in his gruff voice that somehow still sounds comforting. For the first time, I understand what Brenda has with Jorge. Vince is the first adult that seems to care if I'm okay.

"I don't know," I answer, truthfully.

"We have a bit of time for you to recover," he says, "but not much. The city is starting to collapse from within."

I nod. "I'll be ready when you need me."

He stares at me for a while, then motions towards the other chair in his office. "Sit down. Tell me your story."

"Why?"

Vince laughs, a ringing guffaw. "I forget how suspicious you WICKED kids are. If you must know, it's to remind myself. I'm passionate about our cause, but sometimes I wonder what it's all for. Remind me why I'm fighting, Ash."

I sit down and take a breath.

"My name was Payton."

I didn't know there was so much of my life to tell until I'm still sitting there a half hour later, detailing the Maze and WICKED's cruel games they played with us. My voice is growing hoarse from talking so long, and I skim through the rest of my story.

Escaping. The Scorch. The city I burned. Fighting my way out of WICKED. Newt.

At last I'm done, and silence falls between us.

"We are not so different," Vince says. "My life is not like yours, but we are the same. We fight and we lose ourselves. We are nothing more than bringers of death, empty inside, trying to redeem ourselves by killing for the right people."

I meet his eyes, unable to respond with words. He sees the understanding in my eyes, though, and he nods.

"We are not so different, are we, Ash?"

By the time Vince and I go to eat the evening meal with the other members of the Right Arm – or, at least, those that aren't still on various spying missions – I am one of the leaders of his makeshift army. Gally is still above me, along with Toby and a couple other members I haven't met, but Vince is clearly ready to trust me with power.

I don't know if I'm honored or terrified or too numb to care. I focus entirely on eating, not wanting to think any more.

Gally throws a blanket at me when I'm done. "Find a corner to sleep in," he says. "You look like you need it."

I lay the blanket on the concrete floor by a wall. It's not very cold out, but it still won't be very comfortable. As I'm folding half of it over me, Toby comes by.

"I thought you might want a pillow," he says, holding out his jacket.

"Why are you trying to take care of me?"

His eyes grow the slightest bit distant. "You remind me of someone I knew once."

I understand exactly what that sorrowful nostalgia feels like.

"Thanks," I say, taking the jacket from him. "I'll get it back to you in the morning."

He shrugs. "Don't worry about it. I'll take Zeke's, I'm on early morning duty tomorrow watching the entrance into the city."

"Okay. See you later, then."

He nods with a small smile and leaves me to get some rest. The jacket isn't an incredibly comfortable pillow, but it's much better than nothing.