I can feel the cracks shatter my heart, splitting it into hundreds of pieces. Newt was so much more than my friend. He was my hope, my motivation to make a better life in this broken world.
He's gone.
I sob until I can't breathe, until the weight on my lungs feels like it will press all of my life out of me.
Days blur together. After the first one my heart starts to numb, to ice over, but I still don't get up. The only reason I'm still eating at all is because Minho makes me. The only reason I don't die when he's gone is because Sonya watches over me.
I wish they would let me die, but I can't tell them that. Not when Minho is still being pulled out every morning and returned covered in various types of wounds.
He doesn't talk about what happens to him. Instead, he hones his focus into taking care of me. I don't dare try to die when Minho is there. Sonya may be watchful enough to keep me safe, but Minho is terrifying.
His only purpose is to take care of me. I think it's his way of dealing with Newt's death and whatever WICKED is doing to him.
He's not the only Glader being manipulated and hurt, but I don't bother asking the others. I stay in bed and wish I would never wake.
Minho forces me to drink a glass of water. We glare at each other as I do, an angry tension filling the space between us. We're too hurt to be kind, and he's going to force me to keep going if it's the last thing he does.
He sleeps in the bunk nearest to mine, and if I get up in the night he is there.
I would find it endearing if it wasn't so frustrating. He knows I'm hunting for ways to die, and he refuses to live with that.
Days are unbearably slow but blend into one long existence. I hate this. So, so much.
"Ash," a guard calls one morning when I'm still lying on my bed. They haven't taken Minho yet. He's sitting and waiting, and we meet eyes at the voice. They haven't called me since the day Newt died. Is it time for me to be beaten again?
Minho accompanies me to the main room, protective.
Newt is standing in the doorway, pale and horrified.
I stumble to a stop.
He's alive.
ВИ ЧИТАЄТЕ
World Gone Mad (TMR fic 3)
ФанфікиWiping Ash's memory was a mistake. As she slowly begins to piece together her old life, all her lost anger returns. If her life is falling apart, she'll make sure to set the world on fire with her. But will her focus on revenge destroy what good is...
