World Gone Mad (TMR fic 3)

Chapter 28

It doesn't take long for Newt to fire me from being his assistant. Apparently, it's not proper baking protocol to dump half of the extra flour on the cook. He's too amused by returning the favor to be mad, though, and I end up just watching him work, sneezing when the flour he dumped on me gets in my face.

I don't mind staring at him, though – I found an apron stuffed in a drawer and forced Newt to wear it, and the effect is pretty nice, despite the white powder still clinging to his shirt.

"You look cute," I say, and he glares at me, his cheeks pink. It takes a lot to rattle him, but I've learned that calling him adorable is the fastest way.

"I've still not forgiven you for disrespecting cocoa powder," he mumbles.

"Mmhmm." I wander over to where he's mixing the dough and pull his hair out of its ponytail so I can play with it. "Whatever you say."

"If hair ends up in the cookies it's your fault," he says, then reaches back with one hand to ruffle my short hair.

"The last time I had cookies was when I passed a special exam in WICKED," I say, and his movements grow slower, more precise.

"What do you remember, Ash?"

I don't know where to begin. If I'm ever going to tell him about Sonya, it's now. I can't let him die without telling him.

"Lots of things." I close my eyes for a moment to brace myself. "Newt... I remembered something about you."

"Yeah?" he gives me a curious look, clearly unsure why I have such an uncertain tone.

"Yeah. You... have a sister."

He stiffens slightly, clearly surprised. "How do you know? Who? Where is she?"

I sigh a bit and snake my arms around him. "I think she's alright. It's Sonya from Group B, I last saw her before the surgery. I remember both of you from the day they brought me to WICKED."

His voice is slightly shy. "Were we friends before the Maze?"

"You and I?" I hadn't expected him to move on from the news about Sonya this quickly. He must be trying not to react, trying not to think about the life he wasn't allowed to have. I wish it didn't have to be that way.

"Of course."

"They never let me see other kids," I respond, the memories heavy on my chest, "even though I know some of you lived together. I only ever saw you twice. The second was when they were dragging you off to the Maze. WICKED was as awful to us as you would imagine." I think for a moment, and then add as an afterthought: "My name was Payton before they took me from my family."

Newt is silent for a moment, processing. "Okay. Thank you, Ash. Payton."

"Just call me Ash. Payton died with her family."

"What happened to them?"

I twist my fingers into his shirt to distract myself from the screams echoing in my past. "Cranks. I hid in a cupboard. I think it's why the box scared me so much. Even if I couldn't remember... somehow I knew that bad things had happened when I had been shut away last."

"I'm sorry."

"So am I."

We fall silent, and I experiment with braiding his hair as he bakes.

"I'm really scared, you know," he says after a while.

"Of?" I think I know what he's talking about, but there are quite a few options.

"Dying. Losing you. Losing myself as I go crazy. I'm not sure, really." He takes a breath and quietly sings a line from a song. "London's burning, if the world is ending, let's stay up all night..." His eyes meet mine as his voice dies out. "Ash? Do you remember what you said in the Glade when we had that bonfire?"

"Not really." I remember dancing with him, but that evening has blurred into one vague feeling.

"You told me that we should enjoy what time we had, since our time in the Glade was ending. Everything was going to change, so we were going to make the most of it."

I can see where this is going.

"I want to enjoy every shucked minute on this godforsaken planet. I want to hold on to all of the time I have to make memories. I don't want to lose them, but I especially don't want to lose the chance to make them."

"So we won't argue?"

"And we'll not be afraid," he answers. "There's plenty of time for us to hurt about this. But right now our job is to be okay for as long as possible, to hold on to each other and savor the sweetness that's left. Speaking of sweetness..." He pulls a spoon out of the cookie dough with a flourish and hands it to me. "Give her a try, Ash."

I take a bite of the cookie dough. It's a weird consistency – Newt hadn't been able to find any eggs or butter – but it tastes alright.

"Good that," I say, and he hums in response, a smile dancing at the corner of his lips.

"Have I ever mentioned, Ash, that I'm in love with you?"

I don't answer, just hold out my arms. He pulls me close and we sway together, dancing without music yet again.

"I love you, too," I whisper, and the oven dings with the news that it's done preheating.