World Gone Mad (TMR fic 3)

Chapter 31

(a Bastille song this time~)

He falls asleep on a couch with his head in my lap. I don't mind the silence. We've never spent this much time alone together, and it was more awkward than I would have expected. Everything seems fragile between us right now.

I wish it didn't. I want to be happy with him, but how can we? We're trapped on the Berg with nothing but his approaching death, and maybe mine as well. I don't know how I'll hold myself together without him.

I'll never forget those first days in the Glade, where I tried my best to drive him crazy and he tried his best to understand me. He was so terrified when I was caught outside in the Maze...

He cared so much...

I care so much...

Why did it have to be him? Why couldn't it have been me, or Clint, or even Thomas?

It had to be Newt.

I start to cry again, trying to stay silent so he won't wake up. He does, though, and his eyes snap open. There's anger in his expression, and I can see him fighting it back, pushing through the Flare to regain control.

"It's okay," he whispers, sitting up, and then he's holding me to him, his arms wrapped around me and lips brushing against my short hair as he softly sings to comfort me.

Drive around, night time, nowhere to go
Melt me down, I'm like wax to your jokes
Lost and found, knocking heads, laying low
And there's no point reliving crimes to lose this

Still wanna waste all of my time
I wanna waste all of my time
With you

Oh my lover, my lover, my love
We can never go back
We can only do our best to recreate
So don't turn over, turn over the page
We should rip it straight out
Then let's try our very best to fake it...

I can feel his heartbeat as I cling to him, trying to memorize his warmth, the warmth that chases away my fear for a moment.

"We'll be alright, Ash," he murmurs. We both know it's a lie, but I need to hear more.

"Newt... please. Tell me this won't end. Tell me there's a happy ending."

He lifts my chin and kisses me softly before replying, his face close to mine, his breath warm and comforting. "The happiest. You and I, forever and ever, safe and happy. Not needing to fight. Having our friends. Just wait a bit, Ash, and we'll be there."

"Where?" I ask, closing my eyes to better picture this impossible scenario.

"Paradise, maybe?" he says with a soft laugh. "Whatever you want to call it. Just... picture whatever is furthest from the Scorch."

"Bet Chuck would love it."

"He'll be there, too. And Alby." I can hear Newt's voice soften on the last words, and it's almost a comfort to know both of our hearts are breaking in sync.

"And everything will be okay?"

"Everything." Then he kisses me hard, fiercely, as if he's trying to set our imaginary future in stone, as if he wants to seal it into existence.

I wish it could be true.

~~
A/N: Fake It this time, also a good song.