my favorite mistake~ dallas winston

chapter twenty-one

tw: strong language

dally's pov

4 days. Only four days without her and I'm back to my fucked up self. I've been drinking lots more than usual, back to screwing every girl in sight, and I'm smoking more. I hate everything about myself when I'm not with her. I should never have lost my temper. If I could just learn to control one fucking thing in my life I wouldn't be in this situation.

spencer's pov

"Spence please eat," "Soda go away," I replied. "I just want you to be okay," He said. "Please," I said. I heard the footsteps leave the side of my
door and sighed and laid back on my bed. I don't know where I went wrong. I thought Dally was happy. I guess I was so happy that I made myself believe he was? I don't know anymore.

Maybe he was happy and I ruined that for him. Maybe I'm just to fucked up for him. If that's the reason I guess I'm way more broken than I thought. "Spencer Jane get out of bed now!" Darry yelled. He
then opened the door and I turned over to look at him. "What do you want?" I asked as nicely as I could. "We're worried about you Sj," He said sitting on my bed. "Darry I'm gonna be fine, has there ever been a time I haven't recovered?" I asked.

"Spence I know you think you've recovered from everything you've been through but not fully, and plus, this is different. You love Dallas you can't just move on like that," He replied. I let out a shaky breath and laid my head on his shoulder. He set his hand on the back of my head like dad used too. "Can you tell Soda to-," "I'm already here," Soda interrupted sitting next to us. "Did you love Sandy?" I asked him. "Yes," He replied.

"Now?" I asked. "Now, I love Blake, she helped me move on from Sandy," He said. "But what if I don't wanna move on from Dally?" I asked. "That's up to you, but at least eat," Darry said. I sighed and stood up. "Can someone come with me to dingos?" I asked. "I will!" Steve said running over. I laughed slightly and linked arms with him. "Lead the way sir," I said. "She's joking guys!" Steve said. "We noticed Steve," Darry said cracking a smile.

After Steve and I got to dingos Evie gave us a table. She got us milkshakes and me a burger. "Wanna talk about it?" He asked after awhile. "Yes, no, yes," I said and he smiled. "I'm all ears," He said. "I don't really know, Dally and I are both the most stubborn people ever, we've both had traumatic pasts, and we definitely both have anger and commitment issues, but I just I don't know I think I got it into my head that love would be enough to overcome those problems," I said.

"Maybe it is," He replied. "What?" I asked. "Go to him and tell him that you're sorry," He said. "Steve I tried! but if he's gonna be to stubborn to admit that he was in the wrong then I don't know how we're gonna move on," I said. "Give it time, me and Evie have gone through things like this too you know," He said. "Do you think it's okay that he let that girl sit on his lap?" I asked. "No, in my situation, Evie sat on another guys lap," He replied.

"Why haven't you ever told me that?" I asked. "It was right after your parents passed," He said and I nodded. "I'm sorry Stevie, I feel like I don't know anything anymore I've just been so wrapped up in my life and-," "It's fine Spence," He said. After we ate, the bell rang and two people walked in. They were being seated and I locked eyes with Dally.

He's already with another girl? He walked over and sat next to Steve. I just kept staring at him. "What do you want?" I asked trying to stay calm. "I don't want you to get the wrong impression," He said. "That you're already with another girl?" I asked. "Spencer I'm only with her because I don't know what to do when I don't have you!" He said.

"Then just apologize and you can have me!" I said starting to get mad. "God Dallas you are so fucking confusing!" I yelled. "Spence please just listen!" He said. "I'm going home Dally!" I yelled as tears fell from my eyes. "Spencer I won't apologize because I don't think I did anything wrong!" He said. "Of course you don't! I guess saying you can't deal with me is nothing?!" I asked. "That's not what I said and you know it," He replied.

"I don't give a fuck Dally unless you realize and admit you did something wrong for once in your life then I don't know how to fucking do this," I said and went to walk away but was pulled into him. "Dally don't make do something I'll feel bad for, I shouldn't have to feel bad for you right now," I said quietly. "Look Sj as much as I love you, my
manager is gonna kick you out if you guys don't stop making a scene," Evie said walking over.

"Fine, but tell me one thing, if you were in my situation, what would you do?" I asked her. "Well I was on Dallys side of the situation once so I know how much it sucks when the one you love doesn't  forgive you, but I also wouldn't admit I was wrong for awhile, so I don't know if I'm the best person to ask," She said. I sighed and looked at Dally. "I- just please try to sort your shit out and maybe we'll talk," I said and walked out.

(word count: 990)