His Lovely Delinquent *EDITING*

20. Choices

Hopefully I finish this by today. 
Oh...dont hate Sammy. She just 'loves' Noah.

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20. Choices  

Noah's POV 

Sam was in our bedroom, quietly reading a book when I came in at two forty eight a.m. in the morning. I was breathless, incredulous and I didn't know how I was going to explain to Sam that my choice, from the very beginning--no matter how much we'd both change--would always be Blake. My heart yearned to stay with Blake, even when she kicked me out, pushing me away from her and gasping at what we'd just done. She might or might not know it but she needs me...but I need her more. 

I'm sure I can't lose her again.

 It's stupid, it makes me a stupid hell of a person. It makes me an asshole. A large part of me cares--a large part of me wants to help Sam with her life. I knew she was broken herself, she needs someone to be there for her and I was perfect...at the time. But not anymore and someone like Sam--someone who I just taped back togther wasn't going to take it easy. I didn't want to break her heart. I didn't want to crush her spirits. 

But I sure as hell couldn't lie to her. I wouldn't lie to her--even if she wanted to. 

My thoughts were still on Blake and our child. After kicking me out I was thinking of the numerous ways I could announce myself to Eli as his father without frightening him of Blake's past. He was three years old for crying out loud and I was no way in hell going to tell him we were pulled apart for something as dangerous as everyone's 'safety'. I was not going to do that anymore. Hollywood has nothing on me now. I'm my own person and if I have to spend my whole life to have Blake believe that...so be it. 

Sighing, I changed my clothes, the whole time I'm aware that Sam's got her eyes trained on me. She hasn't peeped a word and in a sense, I'm glad. Tonight's going to have hell of a lot of shouting, breaking glass and tears. I didn't want to linger on it though, I had to get it over with. Maybe I shouldn't have allowed myself to be with Sam in the first place then I wouldn't be in this situation, having to break Sam's heart. 

After putting away my laundy I turned back to my bedroom where Sam now sat on the bed, in front of lay a large stack of photographs--all of which I could see were myself, her and Bailey. There were tears in her eyes and I knew that Sam understood what was happening...now I just had to see if she was willing to end it and become friends. God knew I loved Sam in her own way, she was gorgeous and sweet, completely perfect...but not perfect for me. She was my 'late' rebound girl and even if I grew to enjoy her company it wouldn't be fair on her if I was just with her for the sake of it. She deserved so much more than that and I just hoped she'd understand enought to still keep our friendship. 

I took a seat the end of the bed, far away from her and heard the quiet hiccups that came out of her mouth from all the crying.  Maybe I should have stood up, maybe I should have gotten her water but if I did, I would be too nervous to come back and probably run away to Blake. I needed to do this now...there was simply no better time. 

Actually, there would never be a 'better' time because what I was doing was completely unforgivable and I was an ass. I just hoped that Sam understood and that Blake would find it in her to let me in her life...this time, permanently. 

Fingers crossed. 

Sam's POV

As soon as he came in I couldn't help but let go of the dam that wanted to flood New York City. My eyes were brimmed red, my cheeks puffy from all the times I'd wiped the tears away harshly and my lips bleeding from all the nervous lip-biting I'd been doing since he left. As soon as he did I brought Bailey to her Aunt's on th Upper East Side. I knew that tonight was going to be insane and I was going to do everything in my power to have Noah to myself...even if it was a selfish thing to do.

He was so close to being mine...if only she died for real. 

I cursed myself internally for my wayward thoughts. It was wrong of me to think so low...to be so disgusted of someone who'd never done anything to hurt me or my daughter....

I watched Noah change, his eyes doing all they could to avoid my own and it made me flinch unconsciously. It was clear what Noah wanted to do but I sure as hell wasn't going to allow him to throw us--myself and Bailey as well as the relationship the three of us had to be a family--I wasn't throwing that away. I needed Noah.

As soon as he left the room I opened my bottom drawer and took out a box with photos of Noah, myself and Bailey from the times we'd gone out. I was going to scrap-book these one day...when Noah and I were growing old together, grey haired and side by side. I need that picture--that future with him. I wasn't going to let him go, I wasn't going to allow some girl he used to love take him away from me. She saw--no matter how noble she seemed--she saw the life Noah and I had made together and inviting him to dinner practically meant that she was willing to wreck it all.

 Homewrecker.

"Sam..." He started as soon as he sat down at the end of the bed, staring at the photos--family photos--and looking strained. 

"Noah, I love you." I said, going over to him and taking his hand. "How do you feel about another Bailey?" I ask, smiling.

His eyes widened. "Y-you're p-pregnant?" His voice asked, barely a whisper. 

I smiled. "I love you so much, Noah, so, so much."

He gulped nervously and looked away. He was battling with himself internally and it was obvious that now, he had so many choices. Break up with me, the pregnant girlfriend and leave me for his obviously well ex-first love or be with me...

"Sam." He said, strained, pleadingly as if he were willing me--in his mind--to take back what I'd said about our 'baby'. I flinched again internally and felt abandoned but kept a smile plastered on my face. Come on, Noah, baby. Believe me. 

"Soon you're going to be a daddy." Again. "I love you baby, I'm so glad we're in this together." I said, leaning over to kiss his hard lips, hug his tense body as he said nothing. This was wrong on so many ways. 

I didn't let him speak and I'd cut him off before he tried. This baby--fake or not--was his. There might not be a baby there now but there sure as hell will be. Tonight, tomorrow night and the next night. 

Noah Hunt, you're mine. You will not escape me. 

Noah's POV

Holy. 

F*cking

Shit.