His Lovely Delinquent *EDITING*

19. The Absolute Truth

Hi! This chapter has been long overdue! Anyway, I hope you guys like it! :) x

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Dedication goes to:  DeadlyLover

I've literally had no time to edit so please just point out mistakes if you'd like! x 

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19. The Absolute Truth

Blake’s POV

I was shitting myself beyond words. “Eli, baby, go get a DVD from your shelf, momma’s going to make some dinner, okay?” I ask, smiling at my perfect boy.

He nods, not saying a word and I grinned. I’d taught him so well.

I began cooking roast beef. I didn’t know what Noah would like but if he was anything like Eli, I knew he’d love beef. I smiled, thinking again of my three year old miracle. He was perfectly perfect…the spitting image of his father…a perfect carbon copy.

I didn’t know why Noah hadn’t noticed that or caught the fact that Eli was named for his father’s middle name.

I’m sure his girlfriend…Sam, I’m sure, I’m one hundred and fifty percent sure that she knew who Eli’s father was. It was quite obvious to say the least…but, Noah was paying attention to me, not missing a single look. I could see that he was trying to focus on me as much as possible. It made me feel bad, I guess that Eli’s own dad, after meeting him for the first time, didn’t even bother with paying attention to him.

But it’s not like I could blame him, could I?

I did keep his own child away from him.

I especially didn’t expect to see Noah. Not now of all times. I freaked out a fair bit, seeing him. Of course I knew he’d be able to tell me by who I was, even after I dyed my hair. I knew he’d remember me. I remember his words, the sincerity in them and the pain in his eyes as he spoke them on my so called ‘funeral’.

Some things I barely think about but that day was always in my mind.

I’d always thought of whether the actions I’d taken were right. I was told it was and I guess that was more than enough for me. I was here, I was alive and I had a beautiful baby boy…I should have been happy, right?

 But after seeing Noah, my heart clenched with want, with need. My heart begged me to put my arms around him and as soon as Sam appeared, I freaked out. I saw the little girl, I think her name was Bailey, smile up at Noah and Sam like they were the best thing in the world. My heart throbbed with pain, thinking how he already had a life…already had something that I wouldn’t have with him.

That’s what hurt the most.

After all those words he’d said in my funeral, he now had a daughter, a girlfriend, maybe fiancée that made him happy. It made me feel guilty that Noah told me he’d never let me go…again, in front of Sam who stared at his hand on mine like someone was shooting bullet’s at her head. It made me feel extremely guilty so I hadn’t pushed further for Eli about Noah being his father.

Eli never asked since his only company was me or his sitter. He didn’t go to daycare because I didn’t trust them and I was extremely nervous for next year. It would be his first year of schooling. His first year without me to be by his side as much as possible. Sighing, I looked towards my wall-clock. In about half an hour, Noah would get here and I knew he’d have questions.

Questions, I was ready for.

It was the giving answers part that scared me shitless. I didn’t want Noah to think less of me for my faked death. It wasn’t my idea in the first place but it was done to save me, to save the people around me. sure, my death cause quite a stir in both the media, school and family but I knew it would be for the better. They’d forget me eventually.