Dernière Danse [Jikook]

28

Lo Vas A Olvidar - Billie Eilish & ROSALÍA

It's been a week.

Since the press.

Skating event.

Jeongguk's overdose.

Jimin's episode after his moment with Namjoon.

It's been a whole week.

And Jimin not once has seen Jeongguk since then.

He didn't go to skating practice, even though Jackson cancelled the first few days for Jeongguk's recovery after being released from the hospital, but he didn't go after that.

He kept his phone turned off, only going to his ballet practice on time and leaving without a word from Taemin about his distance. No contact with Jackson, Namjoon, Jihyo, and Taemin through phone; refusing to even meet in person as well unless it's urgent.

He's heard knockings on his door a few times within that frame, but Taemin and Jihyo have spare keys and they know they can come in whenever they please. So if someone knocked, Jimin didn't answer because it's clearly someone he doesn't want to see.

He refused to talk to anyone.

Not even to send a message to Jeongguk to know how he has been now, or even see him at the hospital.

Why?

Well one it relates to his episodes. The day he had his tempter explosion, it really took so much energy out of him. He has this unwanting cycle where after his fit he's in this self bubble of guilt and resentment for even exploding the way he did in the first place. It pisses him off how much control he loses, and then having Taemin be there to witness it doesn't make it any better.

So after a really bad fit, he gives himself a week - or more - to distance himself from the world.

From the things related to his previous episode.

Just a way for him to gather his strength and cope, even if it's probably not healthy since he's practically punching himself into shape with the negative this he says to himself.

And then there's another factor why he didn't reach out to Jeongguk; hospitals.

Jimin physically can't stand being in hospitals.

The second he steps into one, he throws the most uncontrollable tantrum he's ever had while being alone, only ending up being a plain embarrassment when he looks back to it once he's calmed down. Even if he wasn't the one to be treated, he still can't be around that environment.

So in all, even if he wanted to, Jimin just can't make himself reach out right now; To anyone, or face them unless it's just related to ballet.

That's what he's been doing in doors, practicing and practicing. He's also been trying to avoid remembering what happened with Namjoon, but it irked his skin the fact that he began to imagine someone else through that moment and how it got him real riled up.

Whenever that memory comes to him, Jimin forces himself to practice to burn the memory out of his brain; every single time.

Even if it rivers in his memory in his dreams, waking up to only throw up due to his anxiety.

So, as we can see, this past week has been shit for him; lonely and difficult.

Today, Jimin didn't go to ballet practice. He stayed recleaning the kitchen - since he still feels like he can smell his own blood against the tiles - and then worked out intensively to maintain his shape. His eating habits hasn't changed, he's still throwing up whenever something gets into his stomach - so he makes sure to drink tons of water in order to keep himself hydrated enough to feel full.