TOUCH MY BODY

I don't want to lose you

The next day comes around quickly, I stay in bed, face red- tears staining my cheeks as I hugged Frisky.

Like in the horror movies, I'm in the dark, sunggled up into the warmth of frisky as I call in sick another day at work.

As much as I tried and tried to get my life together and to settle only at where my determination took me, I got way less than expected.

San had been running through my mind. One week had passed since he brought frisky home to me and I keep replaying the scene of him just stumbling out of my apartment with sulking shoulders and a straight face.

As much as I wanted to yell stay, I couldn't...

I keep replaying the part where I'd seen him in bed with another but then resorts to wanting him next to me nevertheless.

One week, and I heard nothing from him. My life is circling like a loophole and I wanted nothing more than to know if hes alright...

He had finally given up on me...

He was giving me a chance to move on from him...

But I didn't want that, I wanted him...

Tossing in bed, Frisky rises from his sleep and I quickly rubbed at his head as he went back to sleep like the little baby he is.

I'm an emotional wreck and as much as I want to run after him, I'm afraid to do so again before it turns out like last time.

I don't want to hurt over and over and over again especially not by someone I loved this much.

He's on my mind and not even a minute later, I hear my phone ringing.

Reaching over to the night stand, I grasped it in my hand.

I noticed his name appearing and without a second chance, I answered.

"Hello?" His voice is raspy as if he had just woken up. I don't greet him back, I just listen.

"I have a confession to make." He started.

"Y/n, you're the woman of my dreams, my ball of sunshine" he cried into the speaker.

"You have no clue how long I've been waiting to tell you how I really feel, the roof is above me and it shall collapse onto me if my words are all lies. From the day I met you, I knew you'd be a friend I could depend on and having our lives switched really showed me that you deserved much more than what you had. I don't know exactly when but the more time we spent together, the more my feelings developed and at some point in time, I did want to act on it-"

He paused, sniffling over the phone.

"I did want to tell you how I felt, how much I wanted to just keep you in my arms and love but then I realised that you weren't in love with me, you had someone you were head over heels in love with and I couldn't just get in the way of your happiness"

"Remember Michelle and I? When I slept with michelle, I was trying to dirstract my myself from you. It pained me so much to see you wrapped in his arms and not mine."

"It pained me so much to see what that monster did to you, to have you break down, only to realise that you're probably on the verge of going crazy right now too and I'm to be balmed for that"

"That night, when you kissed me, I couldn't help myself but to take control of your body but slowly, I realised that the feelings I felt for you wasn't what you felt for me, you considered me a friend, you've always considered me as a friend."

"I'm sorry I tested your limits, I wished we'd never played that stupid game because now, you're asking me to keep a distance from you and to hold onto only our memories."

"I love you, y/n, I love you very much. Always have and always will-" and just before he could've continued, a strange voice yelled "Sir, the doctor said that you shouldn't be using your phone-" and right after, I heard the beeping line go flat.

And at that, the call ended.

"Doctor?" I'm alarmed as my heart beats a hundred miles per second.

"San?" I called out, confused.

The beeping replays in my head and I quickly called the next person in mind.

°°°

Rushing through the hospital doors, tears stained at my face. Mingi informed me that San was indeed in the hospital.

Part of me hated him for what he did but part of me hated the thought of losing him.

"C-choi San!" I stuttered to the lady over the counter.

"Who are you to him-"

The lady over the counter is interrupted when I yelled "I don't have time for this!"

And with that, she slipped out his room number and I find myself running, running towards him.

"Room 23"

As soon as I opened the door, my heart sunk to my feet and I cried even louder.

There he was, on his hospital bed.

°°°

Don't forget to vote or San gets it! 👀

There's one last chapter remaining so look forward to it sometime during the week, I guess.

Also, I thought I should mention that this book wasn't exactly the way I wanted it to be. I lost interest in it for a while and had to completely chance the storyline so now it's more of a sad, love story... if that makes sense..

Also, I know that there's a lot of filler chapters but I hope you didn't find them useless because I wanted to show how trapped yn was after her relationship but was still able to get her life together on her own.

Anyhow, with that being said, I also published a new Choi San fic, one that I had planned to write over a year now so feel free to check it out.