Chapter 9 - The Invitation

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Charlie

1 year later...

"Easy there, boy!" I held up my hand at the Swedish Short-Snout, my wand ready in the other one. "We talked about this, Thor. One day without breathing fire at me and we'll call it progress."

I started working with Thor again last month. I have to admit I needed quite some time to even go and see him. He was the one that burnt Nova and even though I knew it wasn't his fault and he was in pain, I made the mistake of blaming him.

After more than a year of her being gone, I think it's safe to say I am getting back on my feet – as much as I can, anyway. I am regularly corresponding with all my family as I promised Bill on his last visit. Nobody talks about my feelings or how am I feeling anymore and I am grateful for that. Things are back to normal.

That doesn't mean that I forgot about her. That I don't miss her. That I don't think about her because I do. Every. Single. Day. But it's easier than it was, I have to admit. It's bearable now. And between how busy we are in the Sanctuary, me working for the Order and recruiting new wizards, and listening to the Wireless about people going missing every day, I think it's safe to say I am doing okay.

I got used to coming home to an empty house. Pip is in a better mood as well and he is keeping me company when he's not out delivering letters. I started talking to my co-workers again and I have to say that it has been one of the best decisions. They make me feel less lonely.

I am also sleeping better. There are still nights when I wake up to Nova screaming or from a nightmare, reliving what happened but it's getting rarer and I am so happy about that.

It might sound harsh but Bill was right when he said that the tragedy that happened here that night made so many wizards wanting to join. We get new letters and recruits daily.

So many who I've known have died or been murdered that I have to say I am getting used to it, no matter how it sounds. Everything is getting more serious with every new day and we have to be prepared for the worst. I am just happy to hear my family and friends are okay. That's all I can ask for after what happened over a year ago.

I try to think of the whole thing from a positive note. Nova was such a loved person and when I try to get someone to fight for our cause they mostly join because of her. She had so many connections but nothing we did ever worked when we tried getting people on our side while she was alive.

Death does bring people closer together and if they needed a reason to see that this is everyone's fight, I have come to terms with it that the attack needed to happen.

I am not going to deny that I would leave everything behind if it meant she could come back but no matter how I beat myself about it or how guilty I feel, it won't bring her back. I can be as content with what happened as I possibly can be. I promised her I will continue doing what I love and I came so far, even with Thor.

I also promised her to be happy but as much as I am trying, I still feel the burden of her death on my shoulders. I still think it should have been me and I will never be as happy as I was with her no matter how much I laugh at my co-worker's stupid jokes. It's simply not the same and I know it never will be but I don't mind.

I came to the conclusion that I was lucky to get to experience what I had with her. Not many people do and some search their entire life for it. I had it and even though it was cut short I can't complain. Before I met her, I knew what I wanted to do with my life and if I can't be with her, I can at least do what I love and that counts for something.

It helps if I try to stay as positive as I can. So many things remind me of her that it's hard to keep my mind off her. But instead of being miserable about it, I try to look on the bright side.

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