Crash and burn

Chapter 4

It was still dead silent in the room. It became very clear in my head that a relationship between the two of us could never happen, I cant jeopardize not only my whole career but the career of all females. The trainer walked in the room breaking the tension. I dropped my head, I'm still recovering from the session we just finished.
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Trainer: "Don't worry YN just after lando."
LN: "saving the day." He lightly jogged out the room, getting away as quickly without looking too embarrassed. Gee thanks. As the door closed when Charlotte looked back at me giving me a sympathetic smile.
CS: "sorry I know I've made it awkward but you'll get through it. I had to get that out of the way, it's bound to come up in an interview. It's just in the nature of reporters."
YN: I sighed "I understand, I just wish it wasn't important you know, just keep the talk about the racing that's why people watch F1 not for the drama." I struggled for breath at the end of my rant.
CS: "yeah. I guess I wouldn't have a job though if it wasn't for it."
YN: I never thought of that before. I nodded in acknowledgment. "That actually gives me a lot of perspective. God I must sound self centered."
CS: "no don't be silly. Anyways let's change this topic. You got a boyfriend? I wasn't lying when I said you were quite pretty."
YN: I blushed, she was the first girl I've grown close to here even if she's a whole 10 years older it felt like she was my older sister. "I did, but we broke it off when I first left Australia for racing."
CS: "oh I'm sorry."
YN: "don't be, it was puppy love, started when I was 15."
CS: "well if you ask me your heart only gets hurt harder and harder as time goes on."
YN: "you've had your fair share?"
CS: "oh yeah, but I think I've found the one now." She looked purely happy, making her look beautiful in such a raw way. "Anyways, you should get going, need to be on the sim in 10 minutes."
YN: "thanks for this Charlotte, it's good to have a girlfriend on the road."
CS: "ditto."
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Thank god someone knew my schedule. It was way to jam packed to remember everything. But this was what I had been waiting for, starting in a new car let alone in F1 meant a lot of work needed to be put in to get in the groove of things. So many questions I needed to answer for myself before I get to the real thing.

I eagerly walked around the corner to find lando standing with his back against the wall and arms crossed across from the door into the sim rooms. A look of disappointment plastered along his face.
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YN: "what's up happy?"
LN: "the sims are out for the week." My face dropped and anxiety began to creep in, a whole week behind everyone else I had basically become. "I'm sorry, I know you were looking forward to it."
YN: I ran my fingers through the roots of my hair, trying to elevate the pressure in my brain. "It's fine, I just had a few questions about the car I wanted to find answers for. It's fine." It's always fine.
LN: "stop shitting me. Fine?" He came closer so the expression was clear on his face. He looked just a touch angry but more so confused. I stepped back, who does he think he his.
YN: "did I stutter?" Fuck. That came out harsher then I intended. So much for being complimentary team mates. Still I keep my shoulders back, not taking back what I said now.
LN: he sighed. "Your forgetting I've been in your shoes, if anything you have more pressure on you than myself. The fraction of what your going through was...was enough for me to.... ugh I don't know." He was trying so hard to help, struggling to find to words.
YN: "honestly, I'll be fine." The lies continued to poor out. I don't understand why I struggle to be open about this.
LN: "sure. Anyways you said you had questions?" I nodded, scared if I speak I'll say something stupid again. "Well I can try answer them for you if you like, grab a bite to eat maybe?"
YN: "that would be amazing." He was being way to nice and catering. This could work wonders to clear my head.
He nodded towards the multiple exits but I was confused, so I turned around. It was so light at first, hesitant, I couldn't really feel it, but lando used his hand to guide my back to the car park before quickly putting it back in his pockets. I snatched a quick glance to see him smiling on the floor. I almost found myself doing the same thing, until charlottes very valid point rang through my head, this could never happen.
LN: "run to the car?" He chuckled brining back to light hearted mood
YN: "ha ha. Asshole." I pushed his side playfully as we strolled to his car.