𝑩𝑵𝑯𝑨 𝑮𝒊𝒓𝒍𝒔 || ɢɪʀʟꜰʀɪᴇɴᴅ ꜱᴄᴇɴᴀʀɪᴏꜱ

Incorrect John Mulaney quotes

This came to me while i was procrastinating. Enjoy i guess :P

Uraraka Ochako // Uravity

You: [Watching Ochako struggle to play volleyball with Tsuyu]

You: You kids have no upper body strength

Ochako: We know but, hey!

Hagakure Tōru // Stealth hero: Invisible girl

You: Hey Tōru, you uh- you wanna stop doin' that?

Tōru: *Balancing chair on the two back legs* Shut up! You're all gonna die, Street smarts!

Jirō Kyoka // Hearing hero: Earphone jack

You and Kyoka arguing

Kyoka: [Says something]

You: That's what i thought you'd say, you dumb fucking horse!

Kyoka: Who you calling Jean kIrstEiN?!

Yaoyorozu Momo // Everything hero: Creati

Momo: Are still uncomfortable about your -um past?

You: Anyone who's seen my dick and met my parents needs to die. I can't have them roaming around...

Momo: (NAME) NO-

Ashido Mina // Pinky

You, angry at the troublemakers once again: I'll STOMP you all to death with my hooves!

All of Baku squad: Sorry (Name)..

Denki:*whispers* Doesn't she have paws?

Mina: *Shrugs*

Asui Tsuyu // Rainy season hero: Froppy

You, visibly pissed: I'm so angry and horny all the time!

Tsu: I know. It came with the deal.

Toga Himiko //

Himiko: Hey (Name), Do you think i have virtues?

You, not looking up from your book: You have the moral backbone of a chocolate éclair.

Utsushimi Camie // Maboromicamie

You: I could date Inasa..

Camie: But you're stuck with your lovely waifu~

You: First off, get out of here with your facts-

Kendō Itsuka // Battle fist

Itsuka: You should really go talk to your therapist this weekend.

Itsuka: Y'know, ease the mind.

You: Now we don't have time to unpack all of that. 

Fukukado Emi // Smile hero: Ms. Joke

Emi: So what was it like during your year-long mission?

You: I lived on alcohol and cigarettes and adderall.

Emi: ..-

Sōsakai Shino // Mandalay

You after a really intense day: You could pour soup in my lap and i'll apologize to you.

Shino:

Shino: You need a break honey?

Kayama Nemuri // R-rated hero: Midnight

Nemuri to Aizawa: My wife's a bitch and i like her so much.

Aizawa: You're not married..

You walking by: Not yet.

Usagiyama Rumi // Rabbit hero: Mirko

You: [Casually talking to Rumi about your family life in Russia]

You: My dad loved us,

Rumi: As he shoul-

You: He just didn't care about our general happiness or self-esteem.

:You know how i'm filled with rage?;
- John Mulaney

It's past 3 am here..I'm going to bed..