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The sights and sounds of New York faded from Fallon as she moved expertly through the crowds of people on the sidewalk. All she could hear was the rapid drum beat of her heart and all she could see was the desperate and defeated look on Calum's face when she had left him at the restaurant. She didn't remember the trek back to her hotel but when she came to her senses she was back in her room, the comfort of the bed calling her.

She shed the hoodie she had worn, hating that she had been stupid enough to wear the one of Calum's she still had. Hating even more that she still found comfort in it. Dressed in only a pair of leggings and a T-shirt after kicking off her shoes, she slid beneath the sheets, hugging a pillow to herself as she replayed the lunch in her head. She hadn't expected his presence to be so impossible to escape. When she agreed to the tour she thought surely she would only be forced to interact with him on a professional basis and yet everywhere she turned he seemed to be there.

His face was permanently etched into her brain. The way it had fallen when she told him how badly she was hurting, how badly he had hurt her, that conversation had backfired. Seeing him hurt had been painful for her and she hated that her emotions were still so directly entwined with his. Surely a breakup and six months gone should have severed those ties.

Maybe she had been cruel with her words, but then again hadn't he been cruel with both his words and actions? Didn't she deserve at least a little retribution? It didn't feel right though, it felt dirty and as she felt herself beginning to slip back into the deep, dark place she had been in for months, she did what she had promised her therapist she would in the situation, and texted Erin.

Less than five minutes later there was a knock on her door and her sister used the spare key card that Fallon had to provide her with to open the door. Fallon wasn't even angry about the requirements in that particular moment because it meant she didn't have to leave the bed.

"Hey." Erin said quietly, closing the door behind her and walking towards the bed. She climbed in and laid next to Fallon. "You wanna talk about it or do you just want to sit here?"

"Might wanna talk later, right now I just want to sleep but I don't wanna be alone."

"Okay. Get some rest" Erin told her.

*

The sound of the television woke Fallon up. She blinked quickly and rubbed at her eyes waiting for her body to orient itself before she sat up and looked around the room for Erin. Her heart pounding when she didn't immediately see her.

"Erin?"

"Bathroom. One second." She heard the sound of the sink running and then the bathroom door opened, revealing her sister. "You okay?"

"Yeah...yeah." She took a breath, holding it in for a second before releasing.

"Chayse and Wesley want to go out tonight. Are you feeling up to it?"

"I wanna be shitfaced." Fallon said, rolling off the side of the bed and grabbing a water bottle from the hotel room's mini fridge.

"Is that the best idea?"

"I don't give a fuck." She said, chugging half the bottle and leaving the remainder on the table below the television as she moved to the closet where she had hung a few things from her suitcase.

Erin opened her mouth to speak but Fallon held up her hand. "When I agreed to this tour, you agreed to not give me grief when I'm not shitting rainbows. Today is the day you put your money where your mouth is."

"Yeah, but Fal. You had to call me. Don't you think it might not be the best idea to mix alcohol with whatever your brain is dealing with today?" Erin said gently, obviously trying not to upset her.

"I had lunch with Calum." Fallon said back, her tone flat and her eyes sharp.

"What?"

"It wasn't intentional. He showed up at the restaurant I picked. It was the one we had our first date in." She admitted, averting her eyes.

"Fal..."

"He acts like everything can just be fine. Like it is fine." She sniffled. "It's not fine. I'm not fine."

"Maybe we should stay in tonight, Fallon."

"No. I want to drink. I want to forget. I want to feel numb. Help me get ready."

Fallon could practically hear the speech she knew her sister was desperate to give her as she watched Erin's face but her sister stayed true to her word, biting back her lip before finally agreeing with a nod.

*

It had been so long since Fallon had been in a club that she had almost forgotten how alive they could make her feel. The air was charged with electricity as the bass from the DJ's mix pounded through the rooms, reverberating off the walls and infiltrating her to her very core. Wesley's arm was looped through hers, the tension that had existed between them since the start of the tour evaporated as they stood on the precipice of their night out.

Wesley loved a night out, as could be easily seen from the sheer volume of pictures of her falling out of bars and clubs that existed on the internet. Her carefree and fun party girl vibe was exactly what Fallon needed in the moment though and so despite Erin's nervous glances the group followed behind Wesley as they moved inside the club and headed for the bar.

People were everywhere, drinking, laughing, dancing, enjoying the here and now. That was exactly what Fallon wanted. For just one night she wanted to put the past in the past and live in the moment.

Living in the moment would start with a round of tequila shots.

An: So what do we think about Fallon's reaction?

What do you think will happen while she's out with the girls?

Let me know!
I love you!
Sav 🖤

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