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Fallon had spent two months trying to mentally prepare herself for the day that she and the rest of Revelry would join Five Seconds of Summer on their North American Tour. As she stared down the two massive tour buses that waited outside the arena the van from the airport had brought them to, however, she wondered if there was enough preparation in the world for what she was about to do.

This whole idea was fucking insane. Who in their right mind could be coerced into spending nearly four months having to see their ex every day? Then again, she wasn't sure that she fell into the category of people in their right minds.

"Come on Fal, we got ya." Her sister Erin said softly, draping her arm across Fallon's shoulders and walking in the direction of the bus labeled as theirs, both of their bags in tow with Chayse and Wesley behind them.

Fallon had expected seeing Calum to hurt, that's what she had spent all her time forcing herself to be okay with. She had watched performances and interviews until she no longer reacted to the sight of him. What she hadn't predicted was seeing even their bus to hurt. It made her think of all the time she had spent with all of the boys on their bus the last time they had toured together. It brought up happy memories that she wasn't ready or able to deal with. The worst part of it all was knowing that Calum wouldn't be dealing with the hurt that she was.

She trudged up the stairs of the bus after Erin and claimed a top bunk for herself. The other girls stared at her in question, Fallon knew they were wondering why she was deviating from her usual bottom bunk preference but Fallon's only reasoning was that she needed things to feel different this time. There was already too much that made her remember things that she really just wanted to forget.

The bottom bunk made her think of all the long drives between venues that she had spent cuddled up with Calum, the space much too small and yet just the right size for the two of them. She had loved how it felt to fall asleep and wake up in his arms, his arms wrapped around her waist and his even breaths like music to her ears. The top bunk didn't hold those memories, so she shoved her stuff into the bottom and climbed into the top, shutting the curtain behind her with the idea of taking a few minutes to get herself together before their call time for rehearsal.

"Fal, we're gonna go into the arena and say hi to everyone. Do you want to go?" Chayse asked, her voice gentle.

Panic filled Fallon's chest as the first opportunity to have to interact with Calum was put in front of her. On one hand she wanted to march into the stadium with a big happy smile on her face and pretend that she was fine, that seeing him had zero impact on her but she knew that wasn't true. She didn't want to risk him seeing her fall apart on the very first day. She swallowed and croaked out a "no thanks."

There were murmurs she couldn't distinguish from the other side of the curtains but they only lasted a moment before they were replaced with the sounds of footsteps and the open and close of the bus door.


Calum's whole body tensed and his eyes snapped up at the sound of female voices. His jaw locked and his teeth ground together so hard that they began to ache. He watched the door as Wesley, Chayse, and Erin stepped through the back door of the arena and into the backstage area. He and the rest of his band were confirming their setlist and going over the lighting designer's final sequence but all of that halted with the girls arrival.

He wasn't surprised that none of them sought him out first. Going in, he had been well aware that he wasn't anyone in Revelry's favorite 5SOS member at the moment but he had to admit that watching the girls greet his bandmates with hugs and warm greetings while barely managing to nod in his direction stung like hell. Nothing hurt quite as bad as realizing that Fallon wasn't with them. Five minutes had passed in small talk and Calum's eyes had stayed glued to the back door, watching and waiting in hopes that even if she didn't speak to him, he would get to see her.

No one had mentioned her absence and he damn sure couldn't be the one to ask so he tried to subtly brush his elbow against Ash's, giving his friend a look until it seemed to register.

"Hey, uh, so where's Fallon?"

Ashton had asked the question and yet all of the girls eyes were on Calum as Erin spoke up. "She's on the bus, wasn't feeling well. We had a long day of travel."


It was a fucking lie and he knew it. The girl's had had a long day of travel but Calum knew how much Falllon loved airplanes and airports and the whole experience. Even without that knowledge though there was an edge to the way Erin spoke that told him things weren't just going to be smoothed over for the sake of the tour. She was in protective big sister mode and Calum was royally fucked.

"Do you know if our stuff that was shipped made it? Or where it might be?" Wesley asked, directing her question towards Michael and shutting down the conversation on Fallon. He shoved his hands in his pockets and looked at the floor, swallowing and trying to hold back the emotions that were building up inside of him.

He had really hoped to get the first time seeing each other out of that way. It could only go up from there right? Once they got back into a routine of seeing each other then each time would sting less and less until they could potentially even forge some sort of friendship by the time they wrapped this tour up. That was what he was hoping for at least. If she was going to hide away in their bus though that surely didn't seem like a good way to start.

He and the band were due onstage so he followed after his friends,  bass in hand, so they could walk through a dress rehearsal of their show with lighting and their backing track for the first time. He tried to force himself to perk up and get into it but he just couldn't, her basically refusing to see him had knocked the wind from his sails and he was doing everything he could just to get through this. He had vastly underestimated what it was going to be like to do this and now he hoped he hadn't made a terrible mistake in agreeing to ask her band to come on the road with them.

When they had finished he hung back, telling the boys he would be behind them in just a few minutes and assuring them he was fine. They gave him varying looks of concern but finally agreed and headed off down the hallway to the room their band had been assigned. He moved around so that he was hidden from the stage, he didn't want Fallon to see him and he wasn't one hundred percent sure anymore that he wanted to see her.

He sat with his back pressed against the wall in one of the tunnels that led into the arena that was not currently being used and closed his eyes as he listened for her voice. It took a while, Wesley, always one to talk over everyone, and Erin, the one who hated to relinquish control doing all of the talking until they began to play. Once they started their set he could so easily pick her voice out from the others, like she was the only one singing at all.

His chest tightened as he listened to their new songs and she sang through her new solos that he had never heard live. So many of the ones on their most recent release seemed to point to what had happened between them and he wondered how no one had put all of the pieces together yet. He could pick out the sounds of her bass so easily, like it was second nature and he remembered all the times they had sat and played together, all the things he had taught her.

It killed him to think that some of the best memories he had, were all tainted now.

An: another update bc I'm obsessed with Fallon and Calum and also bc I triggered tf out of Sprinting_Ginger earlier with my other book and this is my apology.

If you haven't read MJ's books go check them out! I love her 🖤

And I love all of you already here and reading this book!
-Sav 🖤

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