oh, captain. [DISCONTINUED]

34. Stupid

I wake up the next day, bright and early. It was 8 AM, as nothing was even planned today.
But even though I woke up early this morning, Levi was long gone out of bed, and this room. I just assumed I wouldn't see him until I talked to him about it all.

And later, would most likely be the time I break things off with him, but finish by telling him I'm pregnant. He wouldn't even believe me, as I looked normal, but I knew I was.

I just had gotten up from the bed, and headed to the bathroom to look at myself. I was in a pair of sweatpants, a black cropped tank top, with a messy bun to finish it all off. I look down at my toothbrush, and grab it from the holder. I squeeze toothpaste onto it and start to brush my teeth forcefully, for afew minutes.

I finish up, as I spit into the sink, and wipe my mouth. I start to walk out of the bathroom, and put on some slides.
I grabbed my phone, as I headed my way out the door, going to see Jean again.

He was most likely up, as it was quarter after 9. I headed my way there, to wake him up if he was asleep, which he probably wasn't.
I had nothing else to do today, as it was only a day before my birthday.

15 hours, until then.

I almost made it to Jean's room, as I traveled along the smooth ground.
I see his door up ahead of me, so I hastily go up to it and knock.

"Wake up, Jean!" I say, through the door.
He doesn't answer me, so I say it again.
"Jeannn, hello?" I question, as he would usually wake up from this.

So, I grab his door handle, and shake it, but realizing it opened, as his door wasn't locked.
I peeped my head inside, just to see absolutely no one in here.
I had no idea where he was, so I decided to go to Connie's room, just so I could see what he was up to.
His room was fairly close to Jean's, so it took me less than a minute to get there.

I knock on Connie's door, noticing he doesn't answer either, thinking they were probably out together, doing something. I didn't wanna go talk to anyone else, as I never really communicated with them, Connie and Jean were my main people.

I then begin to go take a walk into town, and travel around everywhere to kill time.
I had first gone to the coffee shop, to get a coffee and wake myself up more. I wandered through the quiet streets, taking a sip of my coffee, until I reach a book store, that I had never entered before, as I never had an interest in it. I'm more of a television person, but I decided to check it out anyway.

I walked into the store, and it was so calming, it smelled of lavender everywhere, while it had a cozy appeal.
There were so many types of books here I could see from the front door, but one that caught my eye was 'Refugee'.
The title page had loads of detail, with the words on the bakc explaining a story that interested me completely.

Well, I ended up leaving that store, with that book in hand.
I was surprisingly excited to read this book. Not at Levi's place, but outside, more specifically, an area where nature was all around.
I ran awhile out of town, just to find my spot I always went to as a kid.
It was at the top of a small hill, a grassy area, surrounded by beds of colourful flowers.
The flowers colours never changed, and they were just as pretty as they were when I was a child.
I smile, looking at it all once more.

I climbed my way up the hill, and sat down in the grassy area, as the sun rays really made the flowers glow.

I had just laid my head back, with my book in hand. I held the book to my chest, and I began to read it all.

___________________________

I had made it to page 172 in afew hours, of nonstop reading. I don't know if I woukd consider that slow or fast reading, I always considered myself to be slow.
But besides that, I had gotten tired mentally, and tired of reading this book so far. I had to take a break, just for relaxing.
I checked my phone for time, and it was 12:30 PM, so I thought a nap here was necessary. Surrounded by beautiful smelling flowers would be such a peaceful sleeping environment. So, I rested my book on my chest, and sprawled myself across the ground, as I closed my eyes from the bright sun.

___________________________

I woke up, to the sound of chatter, from children from afar. I stretched out, as the sun was more dim than before.
I checked the time, and it was 4:57 PM.

4 hours? How did I sleep here for 4 hours? I wasn't even tired.

I got up from the spot, and wiped my back off, from the grass stuck to it. I closed my book on my chest and headed my way back to town. I wasn't hungry, not even the littlest bit, which was surprising.

I didn't bother to stay in town, as it had no purpose to me anymore, so I just headed back to the Levi's room. As I walked by the shops, I saw this mother, holding a beautiful bouquet of flowers, including roses of so many colours. It was gorgeous, but I continued my way back.

I had just made it back, and pushed the door open, just to see thst he wasn't in here.
I haven't seen him in almost a day, but thats for the better, right?

I had time to spare til 7, and so I just sat as his desk. Everything infront of me was perfectly organized, with nothing even crooked at all. I wanted to draw, and so I looked for a piece of blank paper in his desk, which he of course had. I grabbed a pencil from his holder snd thought of what I should draw. I tapped my foot against the floor, stopping, as I remembered I should draw the flowers the woman was holding today. I was pretty good at drawing I'd say myself, so I spend loads of time on this one drawing, to make it perfect.

Over an hour went by, as the drawing looked just like the original did in my head, but without colour. The time was now 6:43 PM, as I still didn't see anyone around, or hear anyone walk by through the door.
I kept wondering why he wanted me to meet him at the mess hall though, as 7 PM, today. But anyway, I was gonna end it all, just the day before my birthday, what an amazing birthday gift!

I stood up from his desk, leaving my drawing there, and started to make my way to the mess hall. As I walked through the halls, my stomach was acting all funny, twisting and turning. I walked myself slowly towards it, as I was almost there. I knock on the doors and heard all the voices there quiet down followed by s loud "Shh!"

I look as Levi peeks his head through the door.
He smiles, as he pushes them both open.

"SURPRISE!" I hear come from the room infront of me. I look at everyone in there, familiar faces, while Connie and Jean were there. I lay my eyes right behind Levi, to see Hitch right there.
I stare in complete shock, knowing I have to do what I have to do before the time is too late. My eyes fill up and I drop to the floor, placing my hands infront of me. I start to break down on the floor infront of everyone.

I don't know if it was the hormones getting to me, or if it was the whole situation.
Levi then comes to down to sit at my level.
"Hey, relax, relax. What happened? He asks, placing a reassuring hand on my back.

"This is great and all, but you know exactly what you did, you-"
I get cut off by my tears, and the feeling as if I was about to throw up, and I was going to all over the floor if I didn't move.

So I cover my mouth with my hand, and force myself up, running to the nearest trash can I could find, one down the hallway.

I could feel it coming, as I slid myself to the trash can and let it all out. It felt so acidic, and my stomach was in pain. I have no idea why ever so recently I didn't feel good, like I was sick.

He followed right behind me.
"Tch. What even happened? Are you okay?" He asks me, looking worried, but disgusted at the same time.
He hands me a paper towel to clean my mouth with

"Levi." I announce, "I don't know how we're gonna work out."