Tahani's Reality (Urban)

|How TF|

And even though we started to grow closer and closer by the moment I knew I'd have to stay away in order to keep her safe. Thing is if it's the right thing to do why does it feel so wrong?

"Maybe I can relax you." She runs her hand over my pants causing me to cringe.

I grip her hand making sure to say it in the nicest way possible. "Told you that I'm not going down that road with you Haze." I use the time that she spends moving away from me in her feelings to unlock my phone and look at the pictures taken of me and Hani in my gallery. 

There's this one picture where she's making duck lips and placing her manicured fingers in the deuces leaning towards me and I just have my regular mug on. Then there's another where she's wearing this face mask and she has a huge smile on her face and one hand cupping my cheek pulling me close. And my face is in her neck, we're in the car in this picture. Each one she looks so happy and pure. It's one of the things I admire about her. She's the purest thing I've ever met. That day when she almost got shot I almost ruined that pureness.

Just seeing these pictures make me miss her even more. I liked being around her because she was genuinely happy. I always listen to Issac talk about Naomi. He speaks so highly of her and how she's always been there for him and how she brings light to his life that used to be dark. I spend most of my days around all types of negativity. Issac and Naomi being the only positive thing I see but I don't stay with them. In my home my mother is broken and bitter, my sister does her own thing and Haze is always either complaining or ended up in messed up situations. Tahani is always happy and looking on the bright side. She has this smile that lights up the room and she's just different. She's not like these other girls who use aggression to flirt or pretend to be something she's not. She's herself at all times and a real "sweetheart".

"How long we known eachother Taj?" Hazel asks staring at me with a somewhat love in her eyes look.

"Since forever." I reply turning my phone off and placing it into my pocket. "Which is why you should tell me what's really going on with you?"

Sadness fills her eyes and I can sense the mood shifting as she leans back against the couch. "I'm nobody's favorite person Taj. I'm last in everyone's life, my moms gone night after night, you're busy and Monroe does her own thing. With Orlando he wasn't a good guy and did hurt me but it felt nice to be put first once in my life. Even if it wasn't the most healthiest relationship or situation at least I was a priority." She explains.

I shake my head. "You're lost. When did this happen to you?"

"It's been happened," her eyes meet mine. "You just never noticed."

Lately that connection we had has been wearing away slowly. She's either always upset or she's in a down mood. I try to be there for her but I know deep down she wants me in her life for hopes that I'll give her the intimacy she craves. The intimacy that leads her into many of niggas beds, for example Orlando's. I don't want to be just another guy using her for her body. I consider Hazel a friend and now that I'm seeing the bigger picture I'm pretty sure that's all will ever be. But with all the shit she talks about Tahani and how she tried to fight her I'm pretty sure me and Haze aren't on the same page.

"Haven't noticed? I'm the only person noticing Hazel. I spend days after day with you, I check on you, I'm there for you. I ain't handle that nigga for fun I did that to protect you." I say getting a little on offense.

She leans her head back on the couch looking up at her ceiling. "If you think that's the only thing wrong you must not really know me." I don't know what it is but those words stuck with me. Well I'd find out later they should've stuck with me.