The New Avenger

Chapter 42

*A few days later*
I still haven't left my room, I only walked to the toilet and changed into my sadness outfit and went back to my bed. I only left for the funeral.
The outfit and position:

Every night they brought me food and every morning they had to take it back again. They never said anything they just looked at me with sympathy. They're just giving me the space I need. I couldn't lose the pain I felt inside. I walked inside my bathroom and grabbed a razor, like I've done for the last couple of days, the only difference is the last few times I put it back, this time I couldn't handle it anymore, I pulled up my sleeve while sniffling and I softly put the razor on my arm and slowly made cuts. I didn't cut to die, I just cut to move the pain out of my heart onto my arm. I made a few cuts and then hid the razor before putting my arms under water and softly drying arm. I slowly pulled down my sleeve again and laid back on my bed. Just in time for Peter to bring in the next meal that I won't eat. I just stared out if the window as he walked by me, he put his hand on my shoulder before walking out. As he closed the door a tear rolled down my cheek, I felt so guilty for cutting myself.

*A few days later*
I've been cutting myself every day, I've been slowly eating again. Today Steve decided to just come sit with me. I wanted to grab something but my sleeve went up and exposed my cuts. "Nina... what is that?" He asked and I could hear the worry in his voice. "Nothing." I said with a broken voice as I pulled my sleeve back down. He softly grabbed my hand and I froze in my fear. He softly pulled up the sleeves and gasped. "Why, Nina?" He asked with a broken voice, I stared in front of me as tears started to stream down and I shrugged. "I-I just... I just feel so empty and guilty." I said as I broke down, let go of my hand and pulled me into his arms. "Please... don't... tell... my...dad." I said in between sobs as he rubbed my back. "I have to Nina, I can't hide this from him." He said softly and I nodded cause I knew he was right. "I'll tell him myself." I said as I pulled away, I tried to get up but got dizzy and dropped back. "You're going to eat and drink first." Steve said as he got up. "I'll be right back." He said as he kissed my cheek and walked out. I sighed deeply. "How could I be so stupid?" I thought to myself as I wiped away my tears. Steve came back with an avocado toast and a glass of milk, he gave it to me and sat down. I slowly ate and drank everything and I sighed. "Okay let's go." I said and got up. He smiled and wrapped his arm around my shoulder as we walked to Tony's office. The others wanted to come up to me but Steve shook his head and they all sat back down. "Dad?" I said softly as I looked to ground. "Nina, sweetheart." He said as he quickly walked over and hugged me. I sniffled as I fought my tears. "Tony she wants to tell you something." Steve said as he rubbed my back and Tony let go. "What's up honey?" Tony asked as he removed hair from my face. "I uh... I-I..." I started to say as my voice broke. "I couldn't deal with the pain anymore and... and I... I harmed myself dad." I said as I fell to my knees. Tony stayed quiet for a bit. "What do you mean, harmed yourself?" He asked as he kneeled down as well  and I pulled up both my sleeves and started to cry. He gasped and softly grabbed my arms. "Oh honey, why?" He asked as he softly went over the cuts. I stayed quiet for a bit and Steve kneeled down as well, comforting me. "I just feel so empty and guilty." I said and softly pulled my arms away. "Mom's death is on me, if I didn't let you guys take the chips out, mom would still be here." I cried out and he shook his head. "No honey, it isn't your fault." Tony said softly and I just shook my head. "It is." I said and got up. "Everything that ever happened to her was my fault." I said as I pulled my sleeves back down. "It all started when I was born." I said softly and walked back to my room. Steve quickly came after me. "Hey Nina come here." He said as he pulled me into his room. He laid down with me on his bed and comforted me. I felt so safe. I used my powers and healed my cuts. "There is only one solution." I said as I sat up, I focused on my memories and deleted everything that had to do with Hydra, I felt emotionless for a bit and then happiness took over. I touched my cheeks and looked confused. "Why are my cheeks wet?" I asked as I sniffled and Steve sat up. "Oh no Nina, you didn't." He said and I looked at him. "Did what?" I asked as I wiped away my tears. "Oh no." He said and sighed as he got up. "Stay here." He said as he walked out, I just shrugged and waited patiently. "NINA!" I heard Tony yell and the door swung open. "What did you do?" He asked and I looked confused. "What do you mean?" I asked and he fell to his knees. "Why did you delete your memories?" He asked and I smiled. "I don't remember doing so." I said and just shrugged. "Nina you need to know this." He said and he softly pulled me with him to his office where everybody else were waiting. "Know what?" I asked as Tony put the anti magic bracelets on my arms. "Ooooh new bracelets." I said but then I felt my power getting taken away. "Hey, what did you do?" I asked as I looked up at him. "I blocked your powers." He said as he sat down on his desk in front of me. "Why?" I asked and he sighed deeply. "Because honey, it will be necessary." He said and he took a deep breath. He told me everything that happened that I deleted out of my memories. I don't know how but the memories came back, including the memories of me cutting myself. I just sat there in silence staring in to the distance as tears streamed down my face. "You'll be staying in my room the upcoming nights." Steve said and Tony looked angry at him but nodded in agreement, Steve pulled me with him to his room. He laid back down with me as I just stared in front of me. "You're safe here." Steve said softly as he held me close.