Countryside H.S. [R]

•thirty four•

I wake up still facing Harry. I look at him, his eyes shut, lips parted. I press mine to his, then get off the bed. I realised I never brought any clothes or anything with me.

I go back into the room. Harry is still asleep. I sit down, where I lay a few minutes ago and grab his arm, running my hands over his muscles.

"You alright?" He asks, I nod, smiling. Today, I just want to forget what I have to do, I want to forget it all. I wish it were that easy.

"We don't have to tell anyone, if you don't want to,"

"Tom and Marcel know I'm pregnant now, my mum and Jack knows," I sigh.

"Well, we don't have to tell my mum, if you don't want to,"

"It would feel wrong, not telling her," I say and we nod, "do you think you could drive me to school first?" I need to grab some clothes.

"Sure.." He replies. He does just that. I thank god I don't bump into anyone I know, and once I'm dressed, I stuff some things into my bag, including Harry's t-shirt. I brush my teeth and re-apply my makeup, then go and meet Harry in the car.

We go to his house, then I put my bag in his room and follow him downstairs. His mother is nowhere to be seen, so we go out to the back door and she's in her shed, looking for something.

"Hiya! Sorry, the lock in the front door won't work, it's a bit stiff, do you see the oil can anywhere?" She asks us. Harry spots it, behind other cans and hands her it.

"Thanks, son... What's with the sad faces..." She pauses "Oh, don't tell me it's something like Alexa's pregnant!" she laughs, "I'm just joking, what's wrong?" Harry gives her a face and her smile is swiped away.

"Oh... Oh! My goodness!" She shouts, then covers her mouth. "Oh... Let's... The lock can get fixed later, let's go inside."

When we get in, she removes her gloves and puts them on the worktop whilst we go and sit in the dining room. Anne sits across from us. We all look at each other in awkward silence.

"You don't have a bump,"

"It's early days still..."

"Oh... Um... Are you going to leave school and have your child?"

My eyes feel a little stingy, "Alexa... And I... Think the best option is an abortion.. she's only eighteen... She has a full life ahead of her-"

"An abortion," Anne repeats, her eyes glistening. "My first grandchild is going to be aborted..." She cries and stands up.

"Mum...-"

"I've got to go... Get groceries, I'll see you later. Congratulations, not that it'll matter..." She chokes and walks in. I let my head fall into my crossed arms on the table and cry. I feel hands rubbing my back.

"It's alright... She'll be alright," Harry attempts to reassure me.

"I want to keep it... But... I'm not ready to be a mum yet," I cry, without looking at him.

"If you're not ready. Don't do it... Alexa, look at me," when I don't, he calls me again. He lifts my chin and I look into his eyes.

"You aren't even twenty yet, you've not went to college yet, you've not travelled the world yet. Only after you do these things, will it be the right time to settle down and have children," he says, then adds, "I'm sorry, but I'm not even ready to be a father yet... please.. I know it's hard, but think how hard it'll be going to college, how hard it'll be, being so young and looking after a baby," he says, and I nod.

"Sorry.., you're right." I wipe my eyes, "I'm... Going for a nap..." I say, then jog up to Harry's room.

To my surprise, Harry did not come up after me. I lay on top of his bed, head against the left side pillow.

I stare at the ceiling. What if I do keep it? What if I kept mine and Harry's baby. I could move back home, I'm sure my mother would help me out, then when I scraped enough money together, I could move into an apartment. Just me and the baby. Harry could even come with me if he wanted, but I wouldn't dare ask him. He'd never leave his family and job, for a baby he doesn't even want.

What if I had it, he decides he'd still be there? He's not the kind of man I'd picture to leave a pregnant girl, just for keeping it.

But then again, how will I live, Evensdale Boarding School is literally my last chance to save my future from being one big fuck up. I can't go to school, have a baby, get a job to get money and go home at the same time.

There's only one woman I know, who will know what to do. Anne. Let's face it, she's been so understanding of me and I know when I ask for advice, she won't judge.

I've been laying there for two hours, according to my phones clock. I walk downstairs and Harry is asleep on the couch.

I hear the clattering of plates and running water and follow it to the kitchen.

"Anne?" I say, my voice barely audible. She turns and faces me, smiling to my surprise.

"C-can... can I speak to you for a second?" I ask and she nods. Just when she's about to start speaking, Harry walks in.

"Everything okay?"

"Yeah.. I was wondering if you could go to the supermarket, here..." she hands him a list and money.

"Okay... You wanna come?" He asks and I shake my head, politely declining.

"Won't be long.." he adds and disappears. When I hear the front door shut, I know he's gone.

"I came to... I can't..." my eyes water and I wipe them away, taking a deep breathe to calm down, "I... Okay. I don't know what to do. I know you'll know what to do because... well you always do," I say.

She nods and I continue, "I was just thinking that... I know it's crazy... but what if I keep it?" I say, my eyes glossy.

"Then you keep it. But, only if you can handle it," she says, "it's scary.. being pregnant for the first time, you don't know what to do, but it's not all bad. Look at me, I've got three beautiful children, I love them all. I have the most beautiful home, family, life. I didn't at the start, but it's good to take risks, Alexa, and if you do keep it, I am always here, never doubt that. Whether you and Harry have a fall out or not, I'll be here, because, if you keep the baby, that's my grandchild."

I nod, "y-yeah. It's just... I'm not ready, I am starting to do well in school and stuff, what if having a baby will destroy that," I reply.

"What if it's worth it," she adds. I smile. "I guess you have some serious thinking to do.

"Indeed. Thank you by the way. I've tried talking to Harry, but he doesn't want it so..."

"He'll come around..." she answers, smiling and I nod.

What if I do keep it?

_-_-_-_-_-

She's thinking about it. Oops.

COULD BE ERROrs.

- eve xoxoxo