Countryside H.S. [R]

•thirty five•

COULD BE ERRORS, I DONT SPELL-CHECK MY CHAPTERS, SORRY.

______________

"No. You can't."

"Why not Harry?"

"Because! I don't want to be a father, that's not fair Alexa, that's really not fair," Harry says, fear in his eyes.

"Well... we wouldn't be in this position if you had put a fucking condom on!" I scream.

"So now it's my fault you fell pregnant!" He screams back. We sit in his car, outside of his house.

"It's both of our faults!" I shout. Mainly his, but oh-fucking-well.

"Yeah.. Why do you want it anyway?!"

"Don't you think it's even a little bit appealing? Having a little baby, yeah, besides money, dirty nappies, crying, it could all be worth it."

"How would that look, eh? Mr. Styles, a 22-year-old man, impregnates 18-year-old Alexa Davids, one of his fucking pupils! That would be splendid! Imagine reading that in the newspaper, oh wait... I wouldn't get to, because I'd be in fucking prison!" He screams and my eyes sting a little.

"I'll leave. I'll go home. You won't need to see us, hear from us, it'll be like you never even had a child, please Harry, think for a second,"

"I'm the one doing all the thinking. I don't want a baby, sure as hell, not with you! Do you understand, I do. Not. Want. It. Is that so hard? It was a mistake, it is not fair, bringing that baby into the world with his dad behind bars before he can even learn to talk, his mother a school fuck-up who can't even provide for him or her," his words hurt. More the fact he clearly stated bad things about me.

I look away and open the door, "I'll..uh.." is all I muster, when I climb out. I hear the rough slam of his door, then footsteps behind me.

I rush into the house and upstairs. I grab my bag and head down to the guest room. It's late, so I can just go to bed now. I put on pyjama trousers and a light blue t-shirt, then switch off the light and crawl under the quilt.

I just can't believe how serious Harry is about not wanting a baby and as he so rightly pointed out, not with me anyway. I'm not that bad. Sure I have my minor issues, but I'm not really bad.

I baby has barely ever crossed my mind. I'm so young, I just didn't think about it. Whenever I did, I always thought it would be with Zayn, but I guess not.

I know I should just get an abortion, Harry doesn't want it, I can't afford it and it's all too much, but I'd feel sickened to death if I done it, knowing that there's people in this world who cannot even have babies, who'd do anything for one.

I wish I never fell pregnant to begin with, I wish this could all just be one big nightmare I could wake up from, but it's not.

I curl into a ball and just let out all emotion, to the point where I physically can't cry anymore. I take deep breaths and finally, let it all go.

My mother calls and I answer, "I want to come home..." is all I whisper, to which she sighs.

"Alright," she says, I'll take you back on Monday-"

"No. I want to come home. For good. I don't want to be here anymore.." I cry into my phone.

"We'll talk about it when you feel better, it's really late, are you sure you want to come home?"

"Yeah. I'm sure."

____

After throwing on a pair of black skinnies and a wooly jumper, I wash off my makeup and jog upstairs. Harry is watching TV.

"Harry?" I whisper. He looks startled, worried and.. sad.

"Yeah?" He replies, softly.

"Can you run me to the train station..."

"Now? It's 11pm?" He furrows his brows.

"I'm going home." He looks guilty, but nods. He brushes past me and jogs downstairs.

I put my backpack on and follow him. I watch his mass of curls, all the way to the car. He's so beautiful. Not that I should be thinking that at this precise moment in time.

I'm still crying as he drives along the dark countryside.

"I'm sorry. About what I said."

"It's fine. You won't have to deal with me much longer, I'll come back to get a few stuff out my dormitory and I'll be completely gone, for good." I say, without looking at him.

"Why?"

"Because, I want to go home. You don't want this baby, and when I abort it, I won't be able to look at you." I spit, "I wanted to keep it. I even have a stupid idea of us living together, you know? Raising our baby together, but-"

"It could be Louis' you know, the guy you slept with right after you slept with me!"

"You and I both know it's yours, you didn't even second-think having this baby, you just said no. How could you not even think about it?"

"I'm not fucking ready! You can't possibly think I'm daddy material! For three years, I couldn't even look after myself! I am sure as hell not being held responsible for another life!"

"But, Harry-"

"Don't start. Alexa, just because I love you, does not mean I'm ready to settle down and have a family, you haven't even thought of me at all! I'll lose my job, I'll go to prison! But it's all okay, as long as you get what you want!"

"I won't go to school, then it won't be illegal!" I shout.

"It'll still be obvious Alexa, and when they realise we've been together the whole time you've been in that school, I'll get it," he says, horror and worry in his voice.

"I'm sorry. I just... I want it so bad, I don't want to kill a baby,"

"I'm so sorry, it's all my fault," he cries, pulling into the deserted train station. He climbs out the car and walks to my side.

He opens my car door and pulls me out and into a hug.

"I just... I don't want a baby yet, I'm not ready and I know it's going to be so hard, but unless you want to raise a baby, with no money or even your own house, then go for it,but if you don't have it now, it won't have to go through life with very little," he says into my hair.

"Okay..." I whisper.

I look up at him, and without second thinking it, crash my lips to his. Surprisingly, he kisses me back.

"I love you, so, so much," I say into the kiss.

"I love you too, so, so much," he replies, then pulls away, "goodbye, Alexa..." he says it as if I won't see him on Monday, when I come to collect my stuff.

He climbs into his car, with tears streaming down his face. I watch him drive away, as the snow heavily falls, soaking me.