You're So Golden |H.S|

Chapter 87

We're all broken pieces floating by
Life is not a love song we can try
To fix our broken pieces one at a time

I like that you're broken
Broken like me
Maybe that makes me a fool

***

January 31st

A broken promise.

Pinkies colliding in a childish manner as we make several promises we both swear not to break. When I couldn't make that promise to him about my reason as to why it was my time to leave, I not only broke his heart, I'm afraid I broke his trust, along with every other part of him.

A broken angel with a cracked halo, who had lost her wings.

That's what I feel like.

I don't feel like a hero. I thought after protecting him the way he has for me, it'd feel like I'd finally jump off that building of fear and spread my wings to fly, but instead of flying, I'm afraid I jumped without knowing how, and now I feel as if I'm falling instead.

Falling is much scarier when I know he's no longer down there to catch me.

Green eyes.

His green eyes which once calmed and relaxed my body from the anxiety caused by the scary world around me, sadly turned into an awful memory as the shade of red fogged his vision as he looked back at me with such anger at my attempt to keep him safe.

Puzzle pieces.

Every piece he gave me, filling each empty spot until there was no room left to fix, the minute I walked out of that door and left him inside, he took all of my pieces with him, leaving me just as broken as I was the day I was blessed by his beautiful yet mysterious presence.

Heartbreak. Overwhelmed Distress. Broken.

It's been hours since I've last seen Harry, and while I wish I could smile at the thought of keeping him safe, my heart breaks into two as an unwanted loop of heart-wrenching visuals of his broken expression play over on replay in my mind.

I've tried making it stop. I've tried to distract myself all day, but no matter where I am or what I do, all I can hear is the pain in his voice when he told me he didn't want to be alone.

I don't want to be alone.

Walking down the street with my hood over my head in the pouring rain, I make my way down the very long driveway, as I walk up to the front porch, banging my balled-up fist against the front door, dragging the sleeve of Harry's sweater I brought with me, against my cheek to hide my tears.

Within a few short seconds, the door swings open and when he sees my face, his somewhat happy expression falls to a saddened one, as he steps aside, leaving room for me to walk inside without saying a word to me.

Looking down at the ground, I step inside and make my way over to the living room, sitting on the couch, while I pull the throw blanket that rests on the edge of the furniture beside me over my lap, as he closes the door and slowly approaches me in the room.

"He just left," he rubs his hand at the back of his neck as he steps down the two short steps to reach the room, "can I get you anything? Water? Food?" he asks worriedly.

I shake my head no, and pull my knees to my chest, resting my chin on them, as I rock my head to the side and look up at him with a soft smile as I hold back my tears.

Tucking his lips into his mouth as he stands there clueless as to what to say, he walks over in front of me and sits beside me on the couch, motioning for me to come closer while he lifts his arm and rests it behind my head, "come here," he rocks his head to the side.