You're So Golden |H.S|

Chapter 49

Her eyes and words are so icy
Oh but she burns
Like rum on the fire
Hot and fast and angry as she can be
I walk my days on a wire

Calls of guilty thrown at me
All while she stains
The sheets of some other
Thrown at me so powerfully
Just like she throws with the arm of her brother

Harry's P.O.V

***

Psychology; something i've been passionate about since I was just a little kid, searching and browsing the internet trying to find different ways to cope, and fill the void of having a mother who was never meant to be one.

School was never for me, only because I never liked being told what to do, so I stopped going. Completely gave up on my dream of helping other people all because I found myself getting lazy and impatient.

How inspiring.

But I still like to help people the best way I possibly can, not only strangers who i'll probably never see again, but also the people I care about.

People like Ariana; I know she would never ask me for help, so I had to do it the only way I knew she'd let me.

Sure maybe I was a little dick-ish in the beginning for teasing her, but I had to get my point across and I think maybe it worked.

The entire reason behind it was so she would understand she is in complete control of every single emotion she feels and experiences. If someone walked up to her, called her a terrible name, and she got upset about it, she needs to realize she is in control of the emotion she feels that moment in time.

She could either brush it off, go on about her day, or continue thinking about it and let it ruin her mood due to her overthinking.

We're all victims of it, there's nothing wrong with it.

She doesn't ever continue on with her day, and she also never lets it visibly affect her. Instead, she hides the pain she feels deep down with all of the other harsh words she has heard, hides them in a jar along with every other bullshit experience she's sadly had to put up with, and never lets any of them out into the light.

I only know this because I did the same thing, but the difference is psychedelic drugs were also involved with hiding my pain.

She's hiding all her pain on her own. Which is surprisingly scarier.

I'm not saying the bad feelings should have been turned into good ones when she reached her climax, but as she screamed out the things that have been eating her up alive, whilst she was orgasming at the same time, she not only released the orgasmic pressure that built up inside her, but also released the harsh truth and reality of the pain and trauma that she's held onto forever.

After she came down from the high, I couldn't help but notice the look on her face, and it completely crushed my heart.

She looked glad that it happened, but also hurt. I could see the pain in her eyes when she realized what it is she has been holding onto, and all I wanted to do was express to her how much I care about her.

I wanted to tell her how much I love her.

I'm not one to correctly express the way I feel, I rather help others express the way I know they feel, even if they don't know it yet; and I know how Ariana feels.