You're So Golden |H.S|

Chapter 33

"So you fucked him after all of that?" he hisses through his teeth, and I just look down at the ground trying not to get myself worked up over it.

"It wasn't like that, okay? We talked about stuff and I guess I just felt like we had an understanding" I say softly under my breath, pulling at the skin below my nail as I get anxious from this entire encounter.

"An understanding? So let me guess he blamed drugs for the way he spoke to you and you thought to yourself 'wow he treated me like shit but he's addicted to drugs and apologized so sure i'll fuck him' Really Ariana? You're better than that" he raises his voice even louder at me, making me frustrated with the words he's choosing to use.

I understand why he's irritated but screaming at me and slut shaming me isn't going to solve the issue. It's just going to cause another pointless one.

"I asked you a question" he says harshly as he looks down at me, trying to maintain eye contact, but I only look away.

"I don't understand what you want me to say Ashton. Should I have slept with him? I don't know but it doesn't matter! His dick was already inside me so unless you have a fucking time machine you can use to go back in time and pull him out of me this conversation is pointless" I look up and shout at him as I fold my arms in front of me.

I'm not trying to argue with him but does he not realise I also don't feel amazing about all of this?

I mean for fucks sake when I climbed out of bed yesterday I found miss red underwears earring and had to pretend like my feelings weren't hurt.

I chose to sleep with him knowing he was with a girl the day before. I only set myself up to get hurt, meaning this entire situation is my fault.

That being said every single word that has come out of his mouth has already been thought about and processed already.

"What do I want you to say?" he repeats me "I want you to say it was stupid and you're not going to do it again! I'm trying to look out for you Ariana and what you did was beyond stupid because now that's all he's gonna look at you as" he rambles on but stops and creases his brows when he realises what it sounded like he was trying to say.

I throw my head back and laugh sarcastically "as what?" I pause waiting for him to answer me but he doesn't say a word "as a slut? A whore? Which one?" I say shaking my head to the side in disbelief.

"No I didn't mean that. I just mean he's gonna think he can sleep with you whenever he wants now and I don't want you to fall for the 'poor sad boy' bullshit he uses as his way to get in your pants" he sighs as he pinches the bridge of his nose.

I'm starting to feel like I can't do anything right and whatever I do will somehow piss someone else off.

Whether that's me pissing Harry off for being friends with Ashton, or pissing Ashton off for being more than friends with Harry.

So I guess maybe I am the problem after all, and will never make everyone around me satisfied.

I mean it's not like we have any other very important issues to worry about like psycho killer fathers, being friends with a murderer, knowing deep down the guy you just had sex with has serious issues and probably has done just as much as Ashton has.

But instead let's worry about what I do with my body, because that makes soooo much sense.

"I know what you meant Ash" I mutter back to him as I glance back down at the ground.

I know he's just worried Harry's taking advantage of me but he doesn't necessarily see the gentle Harry that comes out around me when we're alone. He just assumes Harry's always the same, and that's fine, but I wouldn't put up with that.