This Is England » Freddie Highmore

89.

I AWOKE to an empty bed. I sat up, turning my head to see that Freddie had left our room. I get out of my nest, draping one of Freddie's hoodies over my body. When I head towards the doorframe of the guest room, I tiptoe into the hallway, where I hear a few sniffles coming from Freddie's mother's room. I knit my eyebrows together. What was going on?

Just before I could invite myself into Mrs. Highmore's room, Freddie steps out with Bertie in tow. Before I could ask or even say anything, Freddie motions to his mother, saying:

"She wants to see ye."

I note that Freddie's eyes were slightly puffy, and the look of his face determined that he didn't sleep at all last night. I wanted to hug him, tell him that everything was going to be alright, but I didn't. I couldn't. Because by the time I moved my feet, he and Bertie were already downstairs.

I cautiously make my way over to Mrs. Highmore's room. Lightly knocking, I look at the frail woman lying in her bed. She seemed so lifeless, so fragile. "Mrs. Highmore?" I call out to her softly.

"Come in, dear." She says, slowly motioning her hand towards the bed. I sit on the edge of it, and look at the pair of blue eyes tiredly staring back at me.

"First of all, I want to thank you for loving my son," she begins. "I haven't seen Alfred this happy since he was a child." She coughs, then takes a deep breath as she continues. "Secondly, I want you to know that you are always welcome in my home, and that if you ever need anything we are always here."

I nod, taking the information in. I hadn't had someone's mother tell me things like this. As much as I wanted to feel joyous about the whole thing, I didn't. It felt odd, and in some, strange way comforting.

"However, Amelia," Mrs. Highmore breathed. "the reason why I called you in here is because I wanted to tell you something important."

"Okay," I said. "what is it?"

"My body has been failing on me for years," she stated, closing her eyes to block the tears from emerging. "I might not have much time to spend with me children. However, I know both Alfred and Bertie will be filled with grief, so I need ye to promise me something."

I wait for her to tell me.

"Promise me ye won't break Alfred's heart." She says. "I don't think he can handle much heartbreak after I'm gone."

Gulping, I nod. "Yes, Mrs. Highmore," I state. "I promise."

..

"What did she say?" Freddie asked me as he places his hands on my waist, kissing my forehead in greeting once I've entered the dining room.

"Girl stuff," I say. "what's going on with her? If you don't mind me asking?"

Bertie looks down at his plate of scrambled eggs. "To put it simply, she's dying. I've tried taking her to the hospital, but her insurance is invalid. Turns out, my father prevented her from ever having treatment." He takes a bite of his food and swallows after chewing. "Don't ask how, because neither one of knows."

I turn to Freddie after noting Bertie's statement. "You look terrible, babe." I say.

"Yeah," Freddie states, rubbing his face with his hands. "I didn't get much sleep last night."

"Why?" I ask, wanting to know.

"I'll tell ye later, love." He says tiredly. "We've got a lot of planning to do, especially because Mum isn't going to stay in this house, forever." He sighs. "Bloody Hell, can this get any worse?"

I knew that whenever he used the term Bloody Hell something was seriously wrong. I wanted to believe that it was his mother dying, or maybe fatherly jitters, but I could tell it was something deeper.

"Freddie, can we talk in private?" I inquire, wanting to nip whatever was bothering Freddie in the ass.

Freddie nodded tiredly. "Sure, love." He gets up from his seat. "Don't eat my bacon," he warns Bertie.

"I'm not making any promises." Bertie replies, eating his own food. We then turn to the door that allows us to enter the backyard.

..

The cold, crisp, Camden air slaps me hard in the face the minute we go outside. The backyard has a brown fence to block the other flats from trespassing. Within the quaint space rested a small garden with a bench resting on top of the gazebo.

We sit in silence for a minute. Then Freddie wraps his arm around me. Using his free hand, he cups the side of my face and brings his lips to mine. I kiss back and immediately allow his tongue to explore my mouth as we move in sync. I pull away, giving him a loving smile, then look concerned once again.

"How come you didn't get much sleep last night?" I ask finally.

Freddie bites his lip, and if we weren't in a serious conversation, I'd be completely turned on. However, I wait patiently for his answer.

"I don't know if I should tell ye." He says simply.

"Why not?" I press. "You can tell me anything, Freddie."

He pauses, then looks down at the concrete ground.

"I don't know if I should tell ye because it can harm you and the baby."

...