Ignorance ➵ h.s. au

eighty sixth

YA'LL 🙏 PLEASE FASTEN YOUR SEAT BELTS AS THIS CHAPTER IS BOTH SCARY FOR ME TO WRITE, AND WILL PROBABLY STRESSFUL FOR YOU TO READ AS WELL. ᴸᵉᵗ'ˢ ʲᵘˢᵗ ᶦᵍⁿᵒʳᵉ ᵗʰᵉ ᶠᵃᶜᵗ ᴵ ʷᵃˢ ᵍᵒⁿᵉ ᶠᵒʳ ² ᵐᵒⁿᵗʰˢ ᵃᵍᵃᶦⁿ but aNYWAY, BUCKLE UP

Dani tears her attention away from him, peering down the direction her bicycle is heading, tightening her grip on the steer whenever she feels a cramp coming in. It wasn't even just on her abdomen anymore, the pain extended down her knees and ankles, and up the muscles on her forearms, but she doesn't regret her decision of refusing his offer. It seemed innocent enough, and perhaps she was cruel for thinking of him that way. Nonetheless, a simple kind gesture didn't erase the reason they knew each other in the first place, and she wasn't going to take the risk. Not again. Just because he was nice doesn't mean he's really like that.

The white plastic bag with the pharmacy label on it remained resting on her basket, the contents of it moving with each tilt of her bike, silently bugging her to come up with an excuse for her mother. She can think about it later, right now, she needs to pedal and not stop until she's reached their subdivision. It was over, they're finally even. He did her a favor and she showed gratitude. That's it. Yet, she can't seem to get it off her mind.

Even as she continued down the familiar street to their house, Nicolas swam through her thoughts even though he shouldn't, pondering over the entire thing again and again. For a moment, he wasn't just the shadows she would catch lingering in the corners of her eyes, rather, a person, and that was what scared her the most. Knowing he was concrete, and real enough to put on a face of someone so wholesome. She didn't need his help, she could very much go through it on her own even with the judgement of other people and that was her initial plan. Now she owed him something because he just couldn't step away for some reason. She wished she could take it back, turn around and return to the store as fast as she can with the hopes he'll still be there and refuse the box he paid for. Nevertheless, that would mean facing him again and being under his gaze, and she didn't want that anymore. She hitched a breath, brushing off the loose threads of hair tickling both sides of her cheeks. It didn't matter, she didn't care. Whatever his reason is for covering for her is beyond Danielle.

By the time she arrived on their driveway, night had fallen, the lampposts populating the pavements automatically turning on to light up the dark roads. She stops just right in front of their house, windows glowing white. She needed to move quickly. Danielle shoved her hand into the plastic bag and grabbed the PT box, contemplating where to put it. It was too big and obvious to tuck into the garter of her skirt, her backpack should be good enough.

She tucks it all the way underneath the mess of notebooks, the cold glass of Harry's phone brushing against her fingers. She stops, taking a glance inside as the black screen glints through the piles of school work on top of it. The red rimming his eyes when he gave it to her was still engraved in her mind, it was dark out then but it didn't hinder her from seeing the weakness written all over his face. Ever since then she's done everything to avoid missing him, nonetheless, she's had enough. Seeing Nicolas only reminded her how much she missed her best friend. In fact, everything only reminded her how much she wanted to see him again, and this time, it was unbearable. Two weeks and the rest is still uncertain. Who is she really doing this for? Certainly not Carter anymore, for he couldn't care less. She didn't need to ask in order to see it. Perhaps she tried because she thought something would happen, that it would lessen the guilt weighing down on her chest if she cut off herself from the person she wanted to see the most. However, she was only really hurting herself, and she thought it would be worth it.

Blinche is right, she can't possibly hold out for that long. Not when she's still yet to find out if she actually is pregnant.

As ridiculous as it is, if she is, they're both screwed and she would have no idea what to do, and perhaps it would be safe to say Harry wouldn't know what to do either. If she is. Until she hasn't used the pregnancy test, it's still possible she's overreacting.