Ignorance ➵ h.s. au

one hundredth

"Guess who won the case . ." She announces.

"Kristen." He croaked, her name burning its way out. It was the same feeling he had tonight when he saw Belinda again. The feeling like the earth has swallowed his feet and disassembled his bones, and he couldn't move.

She's back. He buried his nails into his palm, anticipating the numbness, but it didn’t come, instead, the sting after. He wasn’t just seeing things. 

“Me!” She squealed, her smile reaching her ears even more as she sprinted to him and handed him the glass, his grip paralyzed by his sides.

Why is she back? He thought he would never see her again. He thought she hated him, and he wished it was just real. He wished this wasn't real. “You didn’t even fucking wait for me to say what I thought, Kristen.”  was the last time he talked to her. And all she could say was sorry before hanging up. It was too soon and too late.

“C'mon! Take the champagne, Harold, or I'll drink it for you.” She rolls her eyes playfully, nudging his chest with the glass, but his hands were dead, just as his gaze was frozen on her all dolled up face, Danielle in the living room flashing before him, and her announcement in the car, and everything he thought he could do to make things better for the two of them. His feet itched to run back to her, to drag her out of the door and back into his car so they can be on the road again. Anywhere but here. Why does it have to happen now?

Why now?

“Harry?” Dani called, padding to the kitchen before he could stop her, fire exploding in her stomach as a familiar set of brown eyes landed on her; red lips, curled up hair, and the same old smile she's always given her whenever they saw each other.

“Dani!” Her eyes widened, shoving the champagne glasses to Harry and stepping close to her, launching her arms around the girl. “Oh my god, it's so nice to see you again!” She chirps, perfume and velvet brushing against Danielle as they touch, as if to wake her up from her horror induced trance. “How've you been?!” She lets go, looking at her deep in the eyes.

She could still remember the last time she saw her; over the dinner table when Milla invited everyone for dinner after she found out Harry was sponsoring Carter's game. She didn't even seem to know he was doing it, they didn’t have a proper talk either. The next day Harry came into her room and said they fought, then she just . . left. It's been more than a month now since that happened. It's been more than a month now that they've been together without her. More than a month of pretending she didn't exist, like her name was a swear word never to be said out loud. More than a month now since the promise in that very kitchen that they would break apart once she comes back. 

And she's back; standing right there in front of her, a blinding reminder of that promise, and a blinding reminder that everything was over. Danielle’s shoulders dropped, whatever hope was starting to materialize inside her, sucked away. Her eyes gravitated to the person standing behind Kristen, the same person’s grip she had just been fearlessly holding in his car five minutes ago, the same mouth who stumbled upon words when she told him she’s pregnant, her heart crushing the longer she stood there. Perhaps she just thought it won't be this soon. In this situation. And perhaps she lied to herself when she thought she could do it.

“Well you look really pretty today.” She beamed, eyeing her dress. “You guys went somewhere?” She turns to Harry.

“Uh yeah,” He clears his throat, swallowing the plug which seemed to block anything from coming out of his mouth. “Just her cousin's birthday . .” 

“Ooh a birthday, that's fun.” She buzzes, snatching one of the champagne glasses from Harry's grip and taking a sip on hers. “At least you're not doing something impulsive.”