Cardfight!! Vanguard G: Z World

#61: He whispers into my ear

♢

(Play song in media here)

I wonder which had been the better way to die.

Can you honestly live the way you want without someone getting in your way?

I wondered that throughout my meagre existence.

Your mind has been shattered to pieces because of her.

The memories are coming back even though I don't want it.

There's no one you can rely on.

I have Chiharu.

What does she mean to you?

Unable to give a reply? You can't even form words to describe why you like her.

I can't think straight. My head's scrambled beyond repair.

Is that really true?

Who knows.

You're just a liar through and through. Finally accepting the truth means you're conforming to your own terrible situation.

I can't fight against this current of fate anymore. It's pointless.

Yet you still speak to me, trying to find a way out of the darkness. Do you really want to disappear?

No. Of course I don't. That's my greatest fear.

Ubume promised you that she'd never let you disappear. Where is she now?

She's an unreliable person, like everyone else.

Like Kristy? Ryuzaki? Zeon? Rukia? Shika? Chiharu?

Don't lump Chiharu with them.

Then where is she in your time of need?

Unable to answer again? You're probably thinking "I pushed her away to protect her". Stop thinking selfishly like that.

Quit the pathetic act. Just give me an answer. Stop lying to yourself and realise that you don't care for anyone else but yourself.

We're both existences who live for themselves. No one else.

Human bonds are fake. Friendship is built on lies. Betrayal is the only thing left for people like us.

That's not true.

Where are your friends then? Did they abandon you? Or did you abandon them?

Shut up.

So you chose to push them aside. For what reason? To sink yourself deeper into despair? To let yourself float through the flow of things?

You've always hurt yourself trying to go against it. Fighting Inferno, Spectre, Kai and Gyze. All those fights brought you a step closer to your cryptic past.

Then, in that final fight against the person you wanted to protect most, they betrayed you.

You realised the truth.

You can't escape the truth.

You can't lie to yourself anymore.

You wanted to accept it this entire time.

But you're scared to cut the final cord between you and yourself.

The fear of disappearing has penetrated deep in your heart and weighs down on your chest heavily like anxiety.

Even though you've done everything to make your disappearance as painless as possible, to disappear on your terms, to fade away for your sake, you've been accidentally walking down a staircase of hell by yourself.