Lovely ||Krii7y||

Chapter 50

Chapter 50

John sat on his bed, curled into a warm blanket watching the snow fall from his balcony. He wished he was swallowed by his bed so he doesn't have to deal with the pain anymore. He was played like a fool and it sucked. John wanted to scream, he wanted to cry, he wanted to break things, but most of all he just wanted to disappear. This feeling of despair had incased John and he feels like nothing could ever break him out of it.

'How could I have let myself be played like that,' John thought as a couple of tears slid down his cheek.

The memories of yesterday were still freshly vivid in his mind. He could feel every single touch Smii7y had done to him and how good it felt. The soothing words Smii7y had whispered him telling him everything was going to be okay. John closed his eyes and he could stare into the caring brown eyes Smii7y held for him during the night; only to change to a more sinister look as he told him the truth of it all. It made John want to throw up.

John reopened them and looked back outside. The weather was certainly calming and it soothed him for a bit. John could hear the bumbling noises that were coming outside. Even though it is Christmas Eve, John made no move to join the festivities. He's been sitting on his bed just staring out the balcony. Staring at the last place he saw Smii7y... staring at the knocked over books that were on the floor.

John hasn't moved from his spot since he had woken up. He didn't even get up and go eat. He missed several hours of the day just staring out the window, letting himself fall into a deep depression. He knows Sara has been here a couple of times as there were two plates of food sitting behind him. Untouched and probably cold from sitting there too long. John didn't have the energy to eat, all he wants to do is close his eyes and let himself fall.

His parents obviously didn't care that he was in his room. They had an act to keep and guests to entertain. John might haven't moved from his spot but he could hear the coming and goings of cars that were invited to his Christmas party. His eyes glossed over with tears as he knew his friends would be coming to his room and demand an explanation from him. He wasn't ready to tell them anything but he knew he had to.

"Alright you guys go and fix him," Sara said when she had opened the door to his room.

John didn't even turn to see them, he still kept staring ahead. He could hear them gingerly walk over to him. John was slowly losing himself to his senses and flinched when a hand touched his shoulder. The hand pulled back rapidly and soft murmurs went through the room. John didn't want anyone to touch him, not after what Smii7y had done to him. He felt disgusted with himself and didn't want anyone to get it from him.

"Hey buddy," John heard Tyler said.

"Mmmm," John replied and soon his vision was filled with the looks of concerned friends.

"We came here to wish you a merry Christmas," Craig said as he held a Christmas gift.

"Also to straighten you out because we heard you haven't moved from this spot," Scotty said.

"What's going on John this is weird coming from you," Jay said softly.

John looked at his worried friends with mild interest. He even noticed that Matt was there but he hadn't said much. Of course he isn't really close with him so he wouldn't know what to say, but John didn't know how to start.

"I don't know where to start," John said.

"The beginning would be nice," Tyler said.

"Well two months ago someone had broken into my room and tried to rob the place. It was weird to say that he didn't actually do it but only to keep me company. Fitz and the others had found out and told me that it was bad to continue to see him but I pushed past their judgement. It was like that for a few days before he had to leave for a month for unknown reasons. He came back and then we just hanged out. It was fun and refreshing and we kept it a secret.