When Our Stars Aligned

Chapter Fifty

After I closed the door I leaned back against it and took a shaky breath. "What did I just do?" I quietly asked myself as I slowly slid down the door, my bottom finally hitting the floor.

I'm such a damn idiot. I let the perfect guy walk right out the door and out of my life because I couldn't handle being away from him. But I loved him. Either way, I fucked up.

Not knowing what else to do I pulled my phone out and went to my contacts. I wanted so badly to call Kendall, to tell him I was dumb, that I didn't mean anything I said, but I knew I couldn't do that. So I dialed Matt instead. "Matty?" I said as he picked up.

"What's up Leen?" he asked sensing that there was something wrong.

"I fucked up. Big time. I need somebody to talk to..." I said simply.

"Give me 10 minutes and I'll be there" he said before hanging up. I slid my phone on the hardwood floor away from me and just sat there for the next 10 minutes.

It felt like no time had passed before there was a knock at the door. I quickly got up and wiped the tear streaks off my cheeks before opening the door.

There stood Matt holding a brown paper bag in one arm the other outstretched for me. I took his invitation and pressed my body close to his, crying on his shoulder.

"Hey, it's alright Leen. I'm here, I promise" he said comforting me. He led me inside and shut the door behind us. I reclaimed my seat up on the counter as he showed me the contents of the bag.

"I've got The Notebook and How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, Ben and Jerry's ice cream, and that old baseball sweatshirt of mine you always stole freshman year" he said as he pulled each item out of the bag. "Then if you're feeling angry I've got some pictures of Kendall and markers" he said holding the photos in one hand and sharpies in the other.

I laughed a little as I took the last two items from him. "That's just it," I said throwing them down on the counter, "I'm not mad at him. I'm mad at myself. Why did I break up with him?"

"You want to hear my theory or the one you want to hear?" he asked me.

"Surprise me" I answered as I pulled my legs up on the counter and hugged my knees to my chest.

"You broke up with him because you're an idiot. A complete dumbass. Anyone can see that you two are great together. I haven't ever seen you as happy as you've been these past three months with him. Yeah I know it sucked having to see him leave but didn't it feel great to see him once he finally got back? Wouldn't you rather want to have that feeling over and over again instead having your heart break right now? I know I sure as hell would if I were in your shoes. But that's just my opinion." he told me point blank.

I nodded, tears running down my face. "How did it go down?" he asked.

"We just...talked. Then I snapped at him a little and he yelled back. He's never yelled at me, ever. But the worst part...he didn't fight back. He just said 'Okay' and packed his stuff" I told him, the entire thing replaying in my head.

"So you wanted him to fight for you?" he asked.

"I mean a part of me did but then I again I thought it'd be easier if he just walked right out. Either way I'm a fucking dumbass." I said.

"That's the smartest thing you've said since I got here" Matt joked.

"You think I should've stayed with him?" I asked, even though I knew the answer.

"Hell yeah I do. You guys were made for each other. So what, you hit a bump in the road, get the hell over it! Do you remember what you told me your aunt told you at the wedding?"

"Yeah," I said nodding my head, "She told me to never let him go because of something silly. To remember what it felt like when we first said I love you to each other..." Matt looked pleased with having me repeat that but I wasn't satisfied. "Sometimes that's just not enough though" I said looking away.

"It's your decision but you know where I stand on the situation" Matt said understandingly. "So, heartbreak time?" he asked holding up the movies and ice cream.

I nodded and followed him into the living room. I got comfy on the couch, all wrapped up in a fleece blanket with my ice cream watching the movie. I was only half paying attention to it; the other half of my mind kept going to Kendall and thinking about what he was doing.

*Kendall's POV*

I just boarded my plane and took my seat next to an elderly woman. "Well aren't you handsome?" she said as she patted my knee. "I bet a cutie like you has a looker for a girlfriend."

"I do-" I cleared my throat. "Well uh I did."

"How long?" she inquired. "Just three months but I was planning on a lot longer" I said honestly.

"Is that her?" she asked pointing at my phone. The screen had lit up when I sat it down and showed my wallpaper.

It was a picture of Celine and I, her on my back in her monkey pajama pants, kissing my cheek as I smiled goofily at the camera. James had taken this one night while they were all living here and it had become one of my favorites of us. We had been working late and Celine came down because she said she was bored upstairs and she helped lighten the mood, something she was always good at.

"Yeah, that's her" I told the woman, reminiscing about the photo.

"Was it bad?" she asked.

"The relationship was perfect. The breakup got kind of heated but ended up sort of mutual in a way" I explained.

"How so?"

"We're both too damn stubborn. I realized it was no use yelling at her; she had made up her mind and I knew I couldn't change it. Not now anyway, but maybe in a few days or so" I replied.

"You want her back?" she asked almost shocked.

I sat there for minute before responding and looked at my screensaver. "More than anything" I told her quietly as a tear fell down and hit my phone.

She patted my back and left it at that. I took out my headphones and plugged them up to my phone and put it on shuffle. The first song to start playing was Baby Blue Eyes.

I felt the tears stinging my eyes but I refused to let them fall. Not just yet. I wanted so bad to change the song but I couldn't bring myself to do it. I felt like if I did that I'd be taking an extra step to getting her out of my life and I refuse to let that happen so easily.