"Just leave me alone"
"Fine. I'll leave you alone if you tell me you don't love me"
His voice cracked scared at the thought that I might actually say it.
"I..I d... I do-"
"No. Look me in the eyes and say it"
I kept my face down not wanting him...
That night I lay awake watching Youngjin fast asleep and hearing the small snores coming from him. Marcus's words kept replaying in my mind making my heart beat faster but not in a good way. Not in the way that shows me I may like him as more than a friend. It beat at a pace so fast I felt it would break my rib cage. It made me anxious, my stomach twirling in every which way. What did he mean he loved me 'a little more than a friend'. I really wished he was just trying to make Youngjin feel better and that he wasn't actually falling for me. I really didn't want to hurt him.
"Dear god, what is with me?" I lightly fluffed my pillow as I moved in the uncomfortable couch. I forget about Marcus thinking about my older brother and the uncle I never met. Would they adopt us? Do I want them to adopt us? Yes, but what if he changed? We haven't seen each other since we were kids. Things happen, people change. What if he couldn't care less about me? And my uncle? He's never met me so why would he want to adopt me? I don't even think he came to my mother's funeral.
My brain was filled with so many things. So many thought to think about, so many problems to solve but I didn't know how. I sighed as I felt a tear fall down my cheek. Just keep on being strong.
*****
Once again the wonderful Marcus was following behind me like a little puppy. Except not a little puppy more like a big BIG dog. Dear god how many weights does he lift. I shook my head removing the irrelevant thought from my head.
Once I got to my locker the smell of cologne reached my nose. I turned to my right a bit and saw Jimin opening his locker. Jungkook was behind him and Taehyung was leaning on the lockers on the other side of him. The hallways were nosy like always and the lights were dimmed down. I grabbed a small bag in my locker that had my lunch inside. I wasn't feeling like eating so I was just going to go to the roof but I didn't want to be with Marcus. I just wanted to be alone, these past few days no one left me alone.
I guess they were just scared I would do something. Suddenly a loud ringing began, I looked back to Marcus.
"Sorry. I have to take this. Stay here, I'll be right back." I nodded and turned back around to my locker. I watched him walk off somewhere to my left. When I saw he wasn't looking(rooky mistake) I quickly shut my locker stopping when I saw the three boys looking at me curiously.
"You saw nothing." I took my little bag and dashed in the opposite direction up to the roof. It would probably take him a few minutes to find me and that's all I needed. Just a few minutes of peace. The three boys looked at me mysteriously as I ran off into the distance, but there was one boy that was particularly interested.
I sigh as I sat down feeling the cold floor touch my thigh. The school was so hot and stuffy so this bit of coolness really made me go to cloud nine. The sky was covered with dark clouds hiding the bright sun. I leaned my head against the wall but the peace didn't last long. A few seconds later the door slowly creaked open.
I looked at the corner trying to see who had come upstairs. Someone with one of the brightest smiles had peaked his head around the corner.
"It's just me," he revealed the rest of his body making my tense self release into relaxation. Well, a version of it anyway.
*
I'm so tired of it.
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