Ana's POV
I layed on the lounge staring at the television for most of the night, I was going to go up to bed, but Matt had made it perfectly clear that he didn't want me there.
How is it that a few day's ago I had Matt and we were going to have a baby, and now I had nothing, how did this happen?
I was continually questioning myself, I went through everyday, trying to work out if I'd done something wrong, I didn't know. I had to have done something.
I sat up and grabbed the laptop and started looking, maybe it was a bad idea, because according to some websites I'd done everything wrong, but the thing that stuck out most was coffee, I drank way too much coffee, what if that was it?
"Oh god." I groaned putting the laptop on the table and laying back down, even the doctors couldn't tell me why it happened.
It was nearly 4am by the time I turned everything off and tried to sleep.
I slept fitfully and woke early. I hated waking up because for just a few seconds, not long, I'd forget what had happened, and for those few glorious seconds everything was fine, then I would remember.
I got up and went into the kitchen, I needed a coffee, then I remembered, no coffee, so I made a cup of tea. As I was making it a phone rang and scared the hell out of me. Matt must have been standing right behind me. He left the room and, I looked out the window, he never use to leave the room to answer his phone.
I heard him walk back in. "I have to go out."
I shrugged, that didn't surprise me, of course he had to go out.
As soon as he left I had a shower and decided to sit outside in the sun. I got a drink and layed on one of the sun lounges.
What was I going to do? I needed to sort myself out, I couldn't stay here, not anymore, I needed to move. Where would I go? I sat there and thought about it and noticed stupid tears again.
"Ana." Jesus Christ, I jumped up and knocked my drink over. Matt was standing there, I looked at him, oh god he looked terrible and that was my fault. "Enough is enough."
I nodded, it was enough.
"And for fuck sake will you look at me." He was angry and hurt, I could hear it in his voice.
I looked up at him, I didn't want to, but I did, and I saw the hurt in his eye's, put there by me.
I started crying again, seeing him like this broke my heart. "I'm sorry Matt, I'm sorry this happened, I'm sorry I did this to you."
He didn't say anything, he just looked at me, and that was worse, I'd rather him yell and scream at me, blame me, hate me, not look at me saying absolutely nothing.
"I didn't plan for this to happen." I went on. "I really don't know why it happened, but I'm sorry."
He took a deep breath. "Ana, I need to tell you something, you need to know this, but promise me you'll hear me out, don't stop me."
I already knew what he was going to say, I didn't want to hear it. I loved him and I always will.
