Ask The South Park GangClosed for Requests

Dear Kyle and Siblings Suck

Criss: Question for Kyle, Creativewhacko wants to know what's your favorite thing about Stan, and GO! Cartman don't you dare ruin this!

Cartman: *coughs* Gay wads! *coughs*

Kyle: *frowns at Cartman* I gotta say history.

Stan: History?

Kyle: Yeah and loyalty. So if I get in deep shit Stan's there for me. Plus if I tell anyone about the adventures we have in South Park Stan can confirm it. Like how Mecha-Streinsand crushed Pip to death or how the Super Adventure Club lead to Chef dying

Stan: Actually he died because of a bolt of lightning hit the bridge he was crossing and Chef caught fire, falling off the burning bridge hitting the rocks on the side of a ravine then got impaled on a branch. A mountain lion then clawed his face followed by a grizzly bear AND then one of the club members tried to shoot him

Criss: Chef's dead?

Cartman: Typical black guy, what's it take to kill one.

Criss: Chef's dead?

Stan: Dude that isn't cool. You shouldn't joke about Chef dying. Enough time hasn't passed.

Cartman: Well how long until we can joke about it.

Criss: Chef's Dead?

Kyle :Twenty-two point three years. that's how long it takes for something tragic to become funny.

Criss: Chef died!

Cartman:Wugh, that's a long time to wait.

Criss:Who else died, while I was gone???

Cartman: I'd change the subject too, to get away from these fags.

Kyle: Shut up Cartman! We're trying to answer this as honestly as possible!

Criss: *pulling collar nervously* Okay next question is for everyone!

Criss: Rongodice wants to know how you guys feel about my siblings.

Kenny: Damn I hate those bastards.

Kyle: Yeah they suck..

Stan: They're okay I guess.

Everyone: What?

Stan: I don't know Matt and Chris got a sweet spot for me after I basically saved Criss' ass from sixth graders years ago. Karly really doesn't give a shit about me as long as I stay out of her way.

Criss: I guess I gotta give 'em a break I mean they're okay when you get to know them I mean they do kind of have an excuse for hating each of us. Obviously they hate me because I'm their sister that's typical.

Kenny: So they hate me because... *nudges Criss*

Criss: Yup cause we had a thing going on. They're over protective monsters who don't like the idea of the youngest having a thing with anyone.

Kyle: Well I guess I know why they hated me then.

Cartman: Wait! Then why the hell did they hate me?!

Criss: They still do...

Kyle: And it's because you're a racist prejudice fat ass!

Cartman: Fuck you, you greedy dirty Jew! *makes hands in a fist*

Criss: Wow, okay before we do that, one last question!

Cartman: *leering* Fine

Criss: Okay Kyle Lily Dowson wants to know if you need a study buddy and she wanted you to know that she's your gal!

Stan: Fan girling much?

Criss: *gags* I know...

Kyle: Well I don't need help in school I don't know if you've noticed but I'm like the smartest kid in class.

Cartman: That's only because you're a Jew.

Kyle: *ignoring Cartman* But we could hang out later *winks*

Criss&Cartman: Gross.

Stan: I really hope there won't be anymore awkward questions...