LifeSaver (A Demi Lovato Fanfiction)

Chapter 42: Stop Hiding

Winter's POV

I was up literally all night. I couldn't sleep. I can't go through another one of those nightmares. I decided to get out of bed at 8:30AM. I slowly made my way out of Demi's arms and off the bed without waking her up. I went downstairs and into the kitchen. I searched the cabinets for a a pan. I scavenged up ingredients to make pancakes. I only made a few. I ate one and put the other two on a plate for Demi. I also poured her a glass of milk. I put a little butter on the pancakes. I placed the plate and glass of milk along with a bottle of syrup on a tray and brought it upstairs. I put it on the little table next to the bed and sat on the edge of the bed next to Demi. She is so adorable when she's sleeping. I leaned down and gently placed my lips on hers. She opened her eyes and smiled. "Goodmorning sunshine." I said.

"Morning beautiful. What are you doing up so early?" She sat up. "And what's that amazing smell?"

"I couldn't sleep so I went downstairs and made you breakfast." I said as I grabbed the tray and placed it on her lap. 

"Winter this looks so good!" She put a little syrup on the pancakes before picking up her fork and eating. "Oh god that's amazing." She said with a mouth full of food. I just laughed at her. She thinks everything that she didn't cook is amazing. "So why couldn't you sleep?" She asked as she continued eating. 

"I don't know." I lied.

"Yes you do. Just tell me, you can trust me, Winter. You've told me stuff before."

"Yeah and it almost got me killed." She gave me a look that said, 'seriously? tell me, now'

"Is it because of the bad dream you had." I didn't respond. "Yep that's it. You know it was just a dream. Maybe if you tell me I can help you stop it." 

"No Demi, it's fine. I'm going to bring you're dishes down stairs to wash." She finished fast. I guess she was hungry. I picked up the tray with the empty dishes and brought them downstairs to put in the dishwasher. A few minutes later I heard Demi come downstairs. "You should really talk about it."

"You're really not going to let this go, are you?"

"Not until you tell me."

"Demi there's nothing to tell, okay? I've never slept in this house before. It's going to take some time to get used to." I tried to avoid eye contact.

"You're lying."

"You always say that." I tried defending myself. She was not buying it. She's not going to let this go. She walked over to me and put her hands and my shoulders and looked into my eyes.

"Winter, stop hiding. You can tell me anything, I'm not going to judge or hurt you or anything like that, you know that. Why won't you tell me?"

"Do you really want to know?" I asked. I really don't want to tell her. She'll either laugh and think it's stupid or she'll overreact and lock me up in a fucking mental hospital. 

"Yes."

"It was just a bad dream about what happened at Wilmer's house." That is what caused the dream right? That's the only logical thing I could think of.

"That's it?" She questioned. She wants all the details, but that is all she's getting.

"Yes, I told you it's not a big deal." I paused. "I'll be right back." I added, my voice breaking through the silence. I got up and went to the bathroom. (*self-harm trigger warning*) Before everything with Wilmer and the hospital happened, I hid a lot of my blades in my pants pockets, my makeup bag, and a few other places. Luckily Demi put a lot of those things in my car without knowing. I took a blade out of my front left pant pocket. I sat on the edge of the tub and held the blade to my wrist. I had some recent cuts from when I was at Marissa's house. I'm so glad she didn't notice. I slid the blade across while applying pressure. My blood spilled out and dripped onto the floor. It's deep red color mesmerizing me. I continued to make about 10 more cuts on that arm. I turned on the sink and put my arm under the cold water, watching the dark red blend with the clear water and go down the drain. 

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Sorry I haven't updated for a while. I had a terrible week. Anyways, I feel like this fanfic is getting really shitty. Please comments some suggestions you have and if you are enjoying the story or not. Every comment motivates me to write more. So please comment and vote too! Also I just wanted to say that if you see a trigger warning in the story, you can stop reading if it might be a trigger to you. I won't be mad or anything if you don't read that part. I want you all to stay safe and be healthy so I will try to put trigger warnings where they are needed. Thanks for reading!