indestructible // H.S.

Part 40

I sat there at 4 AM crying into the pillow, staring at the ring not trying to relive the conversation. The way his eyes looked at me and the way he walked out not even bothering to glance. I had no idea where he was and I hadn't called either Louis or Derek. What would I say to them?  Something like,  'Hey do you know where Harry is? He just up and walked out' I'd sound like a crazy person, which by this point I probably was. It was 2 days after New Years and I needed Harry, I needed his presence.

The more I thought about it, the worse I felt. All of the sudden, I found myself running into the bathroom and throwing myself at the toilet emptying my stomach as I choked on my sobs. My body began to shiver as I continued to dry heave.  Finally, I stopped choking and I sat there on the tiled floor, drying my tears.

My stomach cramped in pain as I tried to get up, so I layed on the floor for hours just staring up at the white ceiling. My face fully dry now as I stood, only to have my stomach lurch again and I gag over the toilet for the second time and I knew something was up.

I made my way back to bed before I called Addi, who I was now just as close with as ever. She answered by the second ring and by the sound of my voice she knew something was wrong.  I asked her for something I never thought I would ask and she assured me she was on her way.

I hung up the phone and slowly made my way down stairs as my stomach still hurt. I waited on the couch for twenty minutes before the bell rang and I hobbled over to open it. Her first reaction to hug me but stopped short when I stood there, her arm went around my body and she helped me walk back to the couch.

"Are you sure you think this could be the problem?" She asked sympathetically.

"I don't know but it's worth a try"

"Even after all the doctors in the past 4 months and tests, do you think?"

"Maybe, I don't know." I sighed standing up carefully and walking away leaving Addi for a moment.

I felt my heart beating in my throat with each step I took and I knew his reaction wasn't gonna be good either way. I stepped in after turning on the blinding light and  closed the door behind me.

I walked back out to Addi holding the three sticks in my hand as I watched the timer on my phone, '2 more minutes' I thought.

I sat next to her and she was the first to break the silence, "It's going to be okay"

I almost broke down when she said that.  That used to be my life for months, Harry would always say "It's going to be okay" and it finally was.  New York was incredible, Christmas was perfect and now?  Am I really back to square one?  And without Harry? I cannot go through this again, it was hard enough the first time.

I shook away my thoughts as the timer went off.

"I can do it" Addi volunteered but I shook my head.

"I need to do it this time" I said softly.

I turned the first stick over and saw the results, not wanting to believe it I turned the other two over as well and Addi took them from my hands.

Neither one of us could say anything.

"Have you called him?" Her voice questioning and I shook my head. "I would" and I knew she was right but how exactly was I going to tell him?

Addi spent a few more hours making sure I was going to be okay before she left and I grabbed the phone once she was gone. His face lit up my screen as I listened to it ring twice. It stopped it short on the third, and I wasn't ready for what I heard on the other end.

"Molly- I ca- I can't do this right now" His voice soft and out of breath. I didn't say anything in response because I wasn't expecting him to answer in the first place.

"Molly- you there?" His voice remained quiet.

"Yeah- I just didn't think you'd answer" I said honestly.

"Oh"

"When do you think you'll be back?" I pushed and I heard him sigh.

"Molly, really I don't know" He said sharply.

"okay" I whispered. "Will you be back?" I pushed even further and I was half expecting him to freak out.

"Molly of course I will, why would you ask that?"

"Well I don't know what to think right now" I cried to him.

"I'm sorry." He paused and I cleared my throat. "I'll be home soon" He promised and we both hung up.

I sunk my head into my pillow falling asleep in the dark room, the only light coming through was the night light in the hall and the moon through the balcony.

Harry's P.O.V

I was on my way back from a run to my mom's house when my phone vibrated in my pocket and her laughing face stared back at me. I had been gone for 2 days and this was the first time Molls had called. I wanted nothing more to hit ignore but I couldn't, I needed her voice.

I heard her struggle to breath through the conversation, telling me she had been crying and it tore me down inside. I knew she was mad at herself because of me. I knew I would go home, of course I would, just I didn't know when. I wanted my life to be with this girl and I planned on being there for it all, I just didn't know how she couldn't see that.

I hung the phone up, entering the quiet house and climbing the stairs to my room. I fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow. 'One more day' I thought, one more day and I would go back. We needed each other, I just didn't want her right now, I wanted her the rest of my life.

Molly's P.O.V

That night was the worst to get through. Knowing Harry was coming back but not knowing when ate away at me more than anything. My head pounded with a throbbing headache after crying all through the night as I stood up carefully.

My footsteps echoed throughout the house in the early morning light. I knew my hair was a mess and I could easily guess that my face was red and blotchy from my tears. I looked around, knowing I needed to eat something, but I didn't want to.  The thought of food made me feel sick to begin with.

I grabbed our last Apple that Harry had joked about last week when he asked me why we only had one left. I bit into it as I turned the TV on and slumped down into the couch, my eyes watching the news and weather report until it was 10 and I brought myself to my paint room.

The blank canvas staring right back at me daring me to create something, anything. I picked up the neutral colored paint and sat down staring at it thinking, nothing was coming to mine. Flowers, no. Landscape, no. People, maybe. People I thought when I hit it.

I picked up the brushes starting in and going with it.

For the record I hate using gifs with other faces because we don't want to give you a picture as to what Molly and the other characters look like, we want you all to have your own image of them no matter how you picture them. And the song "The Boxer" I am currently OBSESSED with let alone its Mumford and Sons so even better!!!! I thought it went along with Molly's feelings right now as she feels torn down, frustrated and scared but in the end it will come back together... WE STILL NEED A SHIP NAME!!! Comment your Suggestions!!!!!

Hanna & Allison