iris

[44] grudge

Jungkook sat at his desk, headphones on, pretending not to be listening to the two once best friends arguing in his room. It was hard to tell if they were in a brawl or an unravelling, But Jungkook was intrigued by what they shared. He'd found out quite a bit about the two's relationship, including how they met and the importance of their friendship.

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They had been 10 years old when they'd first met at a church function that Jimin's parents had attended. World's collided when Taehyung had tried to escape from his father's custody after being left alone in the house so that the elder man could go out on a date. It had bemused the little boy that his father had not locked him in the laundry like he normally would, instead locking him in his bedroom that had a window. He had taken that opportunity to run away, however since he had never been outside on his own, he had no idea where to go.  He wandered aimlessly until coming across a church on the corner of the street, where people were gathered out the front after their morning service. Within that group was a boy about his height, round glasses and tongue sticking out as he laid under a tree reading a book.

The friendliness of his character brought Taehyung closer, until he was peering out from behind a tree to see what the other boy was reading. It was all about space and planets. He hadn't realised he'd been staring until the boy appeared in front of him, hand held out and grin spread across his cheeks as he introduced himself as Jimin.

Thus began a weekly escape, where Taehyung would run away every Sunday morning to join his new friend for church. Though really they'd both just sit in the pews and talk about books and list cool facts they'd read over the week.

Jimin never asked questions, never pushed for more than the anxiously driven boy would give. Eventually Jimin would start bringing bandages and food every week, making sure his friend was eating enough and that his cuts were looked after. They never spoke about his eyes.

It wasn't until Taehyung joined his class at school that their friendship truly blossomed.
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"Just because we are friends, doesn't mean I have to tell you everything! I hadn't even made the decision because my parents were so indecisive! What would I have done if I'd told you I was leaving and then my parents changed their mind?"

"Atleast tell me you're thinking about it! Jesus Jimin, seven years and you still don't get it... If you leave, who is left?"

"You can't put that weight on me, Tae. I know you rely on me, that I am the closest you've got to family, but you cannot expect me to constantly have to hold space for you! It's exhausting. I've got my own shit too." Taehyung scoffed, arms pulled tightly across his body and feet being dug heavily into the floor in a desperate attempt to release the aggravation that was running through his nervous system.

"I don't even tell you the surface level of my shit Jimin, you knew my life was fucked up, you know I need time to process massive changes. You have known me longer than any other person and yet you still could not rationalise that maybe just maybe I might freak the fuck out when you say you are going to leave and never come back?!" Jimin groaned, palm pressed to his face as he shook his head desperately.

"I get that Tae, but it doesn't give you a free pass for pushing me into the dirt!" Jungkook tensed at the mention of the cause of Jimin's injury, trying desperately not to react in a way that clearly showed he was eavesdropping. He was supposed to be listening to music. But the music was off in hopes to get context to a frayed and long friendship.

"Jimin, I nearly killed my father because my mind was completely shattered." Just by his voice Jungkook knew Taehyung had started crying. "Don't you see how fucked up things have gotten? I didn't want to hurt you, but it feels like there's this fire inside me that is fueled by my anger and it burns all of my morals the moment it gets too big. I ... I got Jungkook drunk because some fucked up part of me thought it was the only way to let him see me."