iris

[30] promise

How was he supposed to communicate with someone who'd completely shut him off? He wasn't. But he had to try.

Jungkook had never willingly ditched class in his life. Never. So the whole experience was new to him. The corridors were silent, it made him uncomfortable as he pressed his books closer to himself and buried his face in his sleeve.

It felt like there were cameras watching him, the eyes of his teachers staring into his soul to see the corrupted core. They saw through his facade as the star student, finally seeing the true rotten soul that sat underneath.

Trying not to cave under the suffocating silence, he made his way through the school in search of somewhere he could sit and think. Away from the eyes of those that despised him

__________

Eventually he came to a stop at a bench that he found just near the schools border. He sat himself down on it, books resting beside him as he wiped away the tears from his cheeks. Trying to steady his breathing he took in slow breaths through his nose, then exhaled heavily.

Someone. Anyone. Who could he talk to? He grabbed his phone from his pocket in his jeans, unlocking the device and pressing on his contacts. His finger hovered over the contact that he was most familiar with, his mother.

But he hesitated. She would be furious with him for skipping class. She wouldn't understand what he was going through. Hoseok had kept it from her that he had gotten drunk. So if he tried to explain it would just serve as a greater loss.

He didn't even dare call his father. Jungkook barely talked to him, so he didn't think it necessary to pester the elder about his problems.

After much dismay and nervous tension. Jungkook reached the end of his contacts list. Ashamed to find no one he could trust. Isolation seemed to surround him as he curled up on the bench, thinking of all the things he would say if his voice hadn't been taken from him by that horrendous phone call.

The phone call.

He went to his phone log, staring at the recent number. Before he could even register his own actions, he had pressed his finger to it. The number began to dial. Jungkook stared at what he'd done, pain spreading across his chest as he seemed paralysed to stop himself and hang up. Eyes glue to the screen, waiting for the time to start counting up to signify that someone would listen.

"Idiot!" He cried through gritted teeth fingers hovering to end the call. But before he could the person on the other end picked up. He stared, frozen, not even lifting the phone to his ear. Instead just staring as his hands began to create minor tremors. He weighed his options, hang up and leave the person on the other end to question him. Or talk to them, and maybe find out what he'd heard.

He went with the second option, slowly lifting the device to his ear. This time, he heard breathing but it was calm.

"Hello? Are you going to answer me or will I hang up?" Jungkook felt his blood run cold and his heartbeat increase unsteadily. The voice crystal clear in his ears, unmistakeable. How?

Suddenly, his words were trapped in his throat and as he tried to gasp up the name stuck in his heart, he ended up in a coughing fit as he tried to comprehend everything. "Hello, are you okay?" Jungkook nodded, then groaned,

"F- fine," he choked out, voice strained and uneasy. "b- but... you... Tae..." he gasped out. Not a second later he remembered the harsh breathing from the previous phone call. "What was that?! Who was that?! Taehyung!" He screamed into the phone, eyes stinging and his heart pounding against his rib cage. The other end of the call was silent for a few drawn out moments. Jungkook could only wait in the torturous silence, overthrowing every single scenario that played out in front of his eyes.

"Jungkook... I thought it was you that first time, but you sound different over the phone." Taehyung finally murmured into the phone, voice barely above a whisper.

"Taehyung please, what happened? Who was yelling? Are you hurt?" Taehyung sighed as he heard the strained voice, knowing it meant he was in tears.

"It meant nothing. It was just a fight between my father and I, no big deal." But Jungkook couldn't believe his words. Vivid memories of his own experiences surfaced, picturing a face to the voice of danger.

"How long has he been doing that Taehyung? When you say your father will kill you... you mean it? He'll hurt you?"

"Of course not Jungkook. This was just a one off. Stop worrying about me, it's fine"

"No Taehyung it's not! What did he do to you?!" His throat was aching as he felt a fresh set of tears falling down his cheeks. Hearing Taehyungs voice was supposed to calm him. This is what he wanted. To speak to the boy that made him feel safe. The one who brought comfort to these feelings he couldn't explain.

But now that he knew what had happened, he could not settle his mind. Taehyung had been hiding something major from him.

"Jungkook calm down... stop yelling." He shook his head as he kept softly murmuring,

"No no no no," Legs were pulled tight to his body, phone pressed to his ear as he sobbed. Every bit of inflicted pain scattered across his body. "No no no no no no-"

"Jungkook! Stop. What's wrong? I told you I'm fine."

"And I know you're not Tae... I've used that excuse far too often..." the line went completely silent. All that could be heard was the small cries of Jungkook as he waited for Taehyung to say something.

"What do you mean by that?"

"Taehyung I want to see you ... fuck, I need to see you." He tore at tufts of his hair, screaming out in frustration.

"Jungkook... has someone ever hurt you? Like, on a regular basis?" Taehyung was stuck on the statement spoken by a boy who seemed to lead life with kindness. Admitting his own suffering in despair.

He tried keeping his voice low, the sound of the front door slamming just below his room. He needed the question answered, knowing he might not ever hear or see Jungkook again. He was losing control of everything - including his own life.

"Doesn't matter. Taehyung, can I please come see you..." his voice was soft and the plead was pitiful.  "Just once. I need to see -"

"No" Jungkook's tears stopped as the abrupt answer left him stunned and speechless.

"But Taehyung, I'm scared! Everyone hates me... why can't you be here to comfort me?! I was there for you!"

"I'll hurt you..." Taehyung whispered. his voice becoming almost inaudible. Eyes fluttering shut as he listened to every well memorised footstep that made its way up the stairs and down the corridor. The footsteps were heavy, they were angry.
"I can't let you come near me. It's... there is something wrong with me. Not just my eyes Jungkook. Look, I can't explain it to you well. But my emotions are out of control. When I'm angry... I.... I lose all sense of discipline in my body. I can't see you hurt Jungkook, especially not by my hands. Please just ... leave me alone," the final words came out harsh as Jungkook felt his heart break. Mind narrowing in on the words that solidified that deep core belief he held inside. The belief that nobody would ever want him.

"Fine, but promise me something." Taehyung didn't reply. He pushed his phone further up his ear, crawling backwards as the heavy footsteps grew nearer. He stared up at the door that was blocked by chairs, books, anything he could find to barricade it. "Promise that you'll let me come see you. One day. I don't care when. Just please don't let me lose you. I know I haven't known you for long, but you helped me. I'm different because of you Tae. Good different. You make me feel special. Thank you for that. I want to see your pretty eyes again. I want to adore your features and your perfect smile. Even if it means waiting... I'll do just that." Taehyung smiled, leaning his head back against his wall as he watched the protection in front of his door crumble down. He didn't intend on crying. The tears seemed to have a mind of their own as he smiled through the salty and bitter stream.

"I promise. I promise you'll see me again." He took the phone from his ear, giving one last heartbreaking breath before whispering ever so softly, "just ... maybe in another lifetime."

Then he hung up. Just as the door flew open and Taehyung was met with his fate he'd had since the first moment he'd opened his eyes.
__________