iris

[34] story

warning: this chapter contains mentions of physical violence and abuse.

"How can this happen?" Mrs Jeon muttered to herself, watching with weary eyes at the news report on a collapsed house a few streets over. Owned by the prestigious sales officer Kim Hyeonju. The name brought a sickeningly familiar pain to her chest as she curled her fingers into her stomach. She felt sick just thinking about what must be under the rubble. She turned to see Jungkook peeking out through his door to watch. The room was in darkness. All that could be seen of her son was the white ends of his socks and his eyes that seemed to shine through the glossy texture of tears. "What did he say to you?" She asked softly, stepping forward towards his door. Before she could blink the door was slammed shut to leave her staring in stunned silence at the plain white door. "This is not good. Hoseok, please, I need to know what happened when he spoke to Taehyung on the phone." Hoseok looked up from his place at the dining table, shaking his head firmly.

"No, you need to leave him alone. His best friend just died, and he has just lost complete trust in you. You can't expect him to speak about it so soon, especially since the two had possible feelings for each other."

"Wouldn't that be incest?" Hoseok turned to Namjoon who had come home with him to study, walking into the house to be met with the horrifying reality of a secret their mother had kept from them both.

"No," he mumbled, glaring up at his mother as she turned away. "Taehyung and Jungkook aren't related. We arent biologically hers," he jabbed a finger at the woman. "They may have shared the same title at some point in time but it doesn't mean they are brothers, not even step-brothers." Namjoon nodded in understanding, reaching up to squeeze his friends shoulder upon seeing the frustration and sadness that had filled his words.

"Is he eating?" Mrs Jeon fretted, trying to avoid the shameful stare she was receiving from her eldest son. She was trying not to show the true effect this information was having on her. But in truth she was breaking down. "Please make sure he eats, I need to get some air," she explained before grabbing her coat and exiting the house without a second glance.

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Jungkook didn't want to worry anyone so he wrote neatly on a note that he was going out and that he'd be back. He left the slip of paper folded on his precisely made bed before grabbing a black hoodie that he hadn't worn in years, it still seemed to fit him properly. He climbed out the window in his bedroom, dropping down to the grass underneath as he began to trudge through the wet slippery grass. Briefly he looked around to see if he had been caught, before reaching for the fence and beginning to climb over into an old reserve next to their house. He looked down at his phone, eyes tearing up at the headline he read.

House Struck by Lightning, Collapsing onto those Inside. Survivors Unknown.

He tried to block out the words, searching for the street and surroundings of the desired house. After scrolling through several official photos, he was able to get a grasp on where the house was located. Pushing his hands deep into his pockets to hide his tremor, he began making his way to the location.

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The two-story house was in ruins. The roof seemed to have caved in and was in smouldering pieces that had been put out by firemen. There were cranes and machinery surrounding the house, sectioned off by police tape. No one was in sight, rain pouring down making it impossible to continue working safely. Everything about the disastrous view made his heart hurt. To know that the person he wasn't afraid to admit he had feelings for was somewhere beneath it, dead.

"I'm sorry," he choked out, pulling his hood over his head as a few teenagers walked past the scene. They glanced quickly but moved on as swiftly as they'd arrived. "This... is my fault ... I pushed you... I shouldn't have asked so many questions. Shouldn't have tried to call you again..." he bit the edge of his top lip. licking at the chapped and dried skin. "I should've been helping you, not just asking... I did nothing."

He sat down on the cold and damp sidewalk and picked up a small rock, beginning to carve Taehyung's name into the surface. It took extensive effort but he had forever. He stuck his tongue between his teeth to catch tears that fell from his cheeks as he concentrated wholly on the task.

Once finished his hands were scratched and bloodied from the times he'd scraped them against the concrete. But he didn't care as he pulled away to smile down at the carving. "Taehyung was always a beautiful name," he uttered, brushing his fingers over the carved in engraving. He felt each letter and symbol clearly, picking up the rock to add a little heart on the end. "I saw your father, he sounded important... I guess you probably never wanted to talk about him. I understand, my parents were never a fond conversation starter... Did I ever tell you about them?" He shook his head as an answer for himself, grabbing a more pasty white rock and drawing a square before he began to explain.

"When I was young, my mum, she loved me so much. She always hugged me, kissed me, spoke so gently to me. I remember smiling at her every time, even if her words were just gibberish to me at the time." He drew a small boy with a wide smile on his face hugging a women who he labeled as his mum. "When I was five she got a new boyfriend... mhmm, he was so handsome. Mum started to spend all her time with him, she never said those nice things anymore. I... I got jealous so one day I yelled at her for being mean in my own way... Which was screaming and kicking her. She retaliated. I still remember the look of disgust on her face. She slapped me bluntly across the cheek, the pain is still clear in my mind. It hurt more than anything, but... she continued. She repeatedly hit me and called me names, screamed at me. Hm, I always wonder what she had called me..."

Jungkook drew a small boy next to a tall women, tears down his face and a handprint on his right cheek. He wrote in brackets above the young boys head Jungkook. "I thought she'd stop. The next day I went to her to hug her, to give her a morning kiss. But she hit me again. Hoseok didn't know for months. The times she'd hit me for going near her were in the shadows for him. Eventually he started to notice our distance, he tried bringing us back together. One day he caught mum hitting me. It left a bruise on my cheek and a cut on my lip. I was six. Next day we were in a foster home and mum was in prison. I miss her sometimes, but I have a new mother now. She is nicer. I have a father too, he's been more than my real father has ever been. Your mum, she makes me sad and angry but she doesn't hit me. We could be brothers Taehyungie, it makes me feel warm inside to think that I could be your brother."

To finish off the final drawing he drew two boys with a little love heart around them and a smiley face next to the two names. Taehyungie + Jungkookie. "Promise me you'll stay safe Taehyungie. I'll bring you new books each time you need them. I know how much you love to read. Just don't ruin them, okay? My father won't like that." He bent down to place a soft kiss on the cold pavement. His lips brushed over the rough surface that read Taehyung's name, droplets of tears falling down into the crevices.

"Love you always"

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A/N: why does my heart hurt?