Facing our demons

Chapter 21- iris

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This chapter is dedicated to the amazing GamerGirl_23 for her awesome comments. Okay you can continue now.

'And I'd give up forever to touch you
'Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't wanna go home right now

    And all I can taste is this moment
    And all I can breathe is your life
   When sooner or later it's over
   I just don't wanna miss you tonight'

"Alaska can I please come in?" Andy asked in a soft voice, he sounded close to tears and my heart felt like it was being squashed. "I knew all of these feelings that I was feeling weren't all his fault, I just needed someone to blame. "Yes," I croaked, pulling the covers further up my body as another cold shudder went through my body. "You haven't come out in days, are you okay? Am I not good enough cause I can change," he said sounding young and vulnerable. I let out a small sight before gesturing for him to sit next to me. "I'm sorry, I just I... Feel confused."

"Confused?" He questioned furrowing his eyebrows.
"Yeah, like I don't know what to feel, I mean you're my mate and deep down I know I'll end up loving you whether it be tomorrow or in a year but then there's the things you've done,"I heard a sharp intake of breath come from him and I decided to continue. "You've murdered innocent people - children included, locked me in a cell, burnt many strong packs to the ground, removed me from my pack and fuck you even murdered your own parents, what kind of person can live with themselves knowing their parent's blood was on there hands?" I peeked up at him to see his gains had started to show and fury was beginning to build up. "And look," I waved my hand at his angry expression and clenched fists, " as soon as I start to talk to you about it you spaz out."

"When I was younger I would always picture my perfect mister right, he would always be sweet and act like a gentleman, he would buy me chocolates, he would take care of all of the people who were mean to me and most importantly he would would goof around with me and clear his schedule so we could just spend the day watching shitty movies on Netflix and playing video games." I looked down at my fingers that were twisting up the duvet, "But I guess I'll never get that, all you care about is submission, respect, violence and being possessive."

I felt warm fingers gently lift my chin and small tingles broke out along my skin, my eyes met those beautiful, blue irises that had stumbled into my dreams on more than one occasion. "Alaska," he whispered, his warm, minty breath brushed along my cheeks causing me to realise how close we actually were. "I can be anything you want me to, sweet and caring, tough and protective, wise and considerate, anything your big, beautiful heart desires." He pressed a delicate kiss on my nose, "just please...give me a chance, please." His tone was pleading and his eyes were shining with strong emotions I couldn't quite decipher. I don't know whether it was me or the mate bond that decided what I did next... And quite frankly I don't give a shit,  but all I know was I reached out and laid my hands on his soft cheeks before bringing his perfect lips down on mine for the best kiss I had ever had. It definitely didn't feel like the Fourth of July because I'm pretty sure having a bunch of fireworks set off in your mouth would hurt Like a bitch, and this kiss definitely didn't hurt. My lips were tingling and millions of little bolts of pleasure were zapping through our mouths and when he slid his tongue in I felt like had died and gone to heaven and let me tell you heaven isn't as innocent as it sounds.

Thanks to the fact that I have lungs I was quickly running out of breath and had to break the kiss, I looked up to see Andy with his eyes closed it what seemed to be shocked bliss. He then proceeded to bring his fingers to his lips in astonishment.
"Did that actually happened or am I imagining it again?" I giggled at his child- like look of wander and the goofy smile that was currently painted all over his face. "So you imagined kissing me, huh?" I giggled again at the small blush that appeared on his cheeks. "It's cute when Mr. Big bad alpha blushes," I whispered in his ear and in return he purred and licked my face, I sat there in shock for a few moments just contemplating the fact that he just touched my face with his tongue. "Did you just lick me?" I asked looking at him with amusement clear in my eyes.

"Well you said you wanted goofy," he shrugged smirking at me.
"Yes but I think licking someone bypasses goofy and heads straight towards just plain gross," I laughed.
"It's fine when we're in wolf form."
"Yeah, because we're big giant dogs, and in big, giant dog society licking each other is considered normal."
"Whatever," he laughed before he turned serious, "so does this mean you accept me?" He asked looking nervous.
"Yes Andy I forgive you and I accept you," as soon as those words escaped my mouth I felt the bond strengthen a small amount as I finally accepted it. "I would mark you now but, well you know....." He said scratching the back of his neck.

"Yeah, I know but all well, so whatcha wanna do?"
"How about we binge watch Netflix and you know...chill?" he smirked down at me as he reached for the t.v remote.
"Or how a bout we binge watch Netflix, get obese by eating shit tones of chocolate and not chill?" I smirked back at him and watched as he pouted his perfect lips. "Fiiiiiine," he whined , "okay where's a tolerable but shitty movie?" He kept scrolling before he landed on one. "How about warm bodies?"
"I love that movie! It's like the cooler, weirder version of twilight." He raised his eyebrow but didn't say anything as he clicked on it and crawled back onto the bed after of course getting a few bags of chocolate.

Soon enough I felt myself dosing off, I heard Andy switch the t.v off before he started to sing one of my favourite songs.
'And I'd give up forever to touch you
'Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't wanna go home right now

And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
When sooner or later it's over
I just don't wanna miss you tonight

And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything feels like the movies
Yeah, you bleed just to know you're alive

And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am'
"Goodnight Alaska, I love you," I felt him place a kiss on my forehead before I fell into a deep sleep.
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Surprise! Another chapter, did I surprise you? I bet I did. I hope you enjoyed it and if you did press that little star or what ever it decides to be today and leave a comment because I really enjoy reading them, and until next time.
Hang on nearly forgot, chapter song- iris by the goo goo dolls.