Facing our demons

Chapter 20: manstrual cycle

'Weep for yourself, my man,
You'll never be what is in your heart
Weep, little lion man,
You're not as brave as you were at the start
Rate yourself and rake yourself
Take all the courage you have left
And waste it on fixing all the problems that you made in your own head'

A light dusting of goosebumps spread across my skin as the feeling grows stronger, sweat begins to coat my body and a mild headache forms at the back of my mind. An imaginary rope seems to wrap its self around me like a devious snake before it starts to lightly pull me in the direction of a room I've been avoiding all day. My breath gets caught in my throat and the air becomes thick and clouded causing my lungs to feel like they're being filled with led. My eyesight slowly starts to blur and my throat feels like it's about to catch fire. "Please stop," I choke, pulling against the invisible rope that still has its strong grip around my waist. Tears begin to well up in my eyes as I struggle feebly in the clutches of the mate bond.

My pride doesn't allow me to give in and I continue fighting against the pull, clawing at the walls in an attempt to stop my body from moving on its own accord. I refuse to give into Andy, if he hadn't marked me I wouldn't feel like this, I'd still have time. However if I stopped struggling and went to my mate my body wouldn't be fighting me, so I guess it's also my fault in a very, very , very, minuscule way. I thought I could fight the bond but I was wrong.... As usual, maybe if I just gave up and went to see Andy it would all go away. If only I wasn't so damn stubborn.

"What are you doing? You look like you're majorly constipated." I internally groaned at his timing.
"It's nice to see you to Fletcher," I gritted out still clawing onto the wall desperately.
"I know, you must feel privileged whenever I talk to you," he smiled smugly.
"Wow, I'd really like to see things from your perspective, such a shame I can't shove my head that far up my ass," I retorted.
"I don't think you're really in a position to insult me, I mean look at you," he said pointing at my sweat covered, desperate appearance. "Oh, go play in traffic," I snapped as another large yank was made by the theoretical rope.
"God I wish I had a camera," he chuckled.
"At least my birth certificate isn't an apology letter to my parents from the hospital!" I yelled getting impatient with his childish ways. "Woah harsh, it must be someone's time of the month," he muttered to himself.
"What?!"
"Nothing," he smiled cheekily.

"You know this," he paused to gesture at my slight disposition, "could be over if you simply just went and gave my brother a high-five."
"A high-five, really?"
"What? That's all it would take, it's not like you have to fuck him, well not yet anyway," he have me a wink before chuckling.
"I refuse to even touch that bastard," I snarled allowing my wolf to show through my eyes.
He instantly held his arms up in surrender and my wolf backed down. "Well it's your funeral," he joked, walking away.
I let out a sigh before surrendering, "uggghhhh, fine!" I allowed my self to succumb to the bond and I immediately felt the rope release me and the haze lifted allowing me to see and breath properly again.

I mumbled and cursed continuously under my breath as I stalked my way to the fowl beast's office. I walked down the many corridors and weaved my self through the twists and turns not really watching where I was going as I was relying on the beast's wonderful scent. When I reached a large mahogany door I peaked in seeing an incredibly Alpha who seemed to be more of a mess than I was. "Let's just get this over with," I grumbled, opening the door fully and walking in. As soon as he saw me his face lit up and a huge grin took over his features as well as pure hope. I walked up to him and I watched as he started to open his arms for a hug. I raised my hands as well and took notice of the pure joy that seemed to be shining through his eyes, I finally got close enough so I raised my right hand and brought it down onto his left and heard the satisfying sound of a perfect high-five, before turning on my heel and leaving his office. Not before I saw the complete and utter disappointment along with crushing sadness that was written all over his face.

I felt incredibly good after our little meeting, the mate bond had backed the fuck off and I had gotten revenge on him for locking me in the pack's cells, all was good in the world. I skipped merrily through the hallways of the mansion humming 'I'm walking on sunshine,' in an obnoxiously loud way. I was too happy to notice the glares of the adults and I didn't give enough of a shit to care about the rude glances the teen girls were giving me. All of a sudden an annoying ringing filled the room, curiosity began to eat away at me so I rushed over to the land line before anyone else could answer it.
"House of the lord, God speaking," I said, inspecting my chipped blue nails.
"Alaska?" A deep voice asked.
"No this is God," I answered in a fake annoyed voice.
"Alaska I know its you, only you would be immature enough to answer the phone like that," mr. Smart as voice said through the phone. "Someone's going on my naughty list."
"What? Ugh God doesn't even have a naughty list that's Santa!" Well someone's going through their manstrual cycle.
"Alaska its Brendon are you okay?" Wait? Brendon.
"Brendon, is that really you?" I asked clutching onto the phone, curling the wire around my fingers nervously.
"If you were really God you would of known that."
"Shut up," I mumbled looking around at the curious faces that seemed to be fixated on our call.
"Look, watch what you say people are listening in," I whispered and saw some people cock their heads to the side in intrigue and suspicion.

"Well to be completely honest I'm a little surprised you're still alive," he  admitted.
"Gee thanks."
"And relieved of course, you have no idea how good it is to hear your voice," he breathed and a small blush rose up my neck.
"We'll start working on getting you out of there," he promised ana small amount of guilt entered my mind at the though of leaving Andy.
"I don't think I can," I heaved out looking down in shame for disappointing my alpha.
"What do you mean?"
"Andy's my mate and he's claimed me I can barely be two rooms away from him for more than an hour," I whispered into the phone cupping it trying to make are conversation a little privater.
"He's what!" I stated shushing him trying to get him to be a little quieter.

"How dare he?!" My wolf began to rise as he continued to curse out Andy and I quite frankly was starting to get pretty mad as well. "How dare he? How dare you?! Andy is my mate and had every right to mark me!" After realising what I had said I instantly dropped the phone and covered my mouth. I pressed the phone back onto its holder, effectively ending the conversation and ran back to my room to rethink my god damn priorities.

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Dammit, now I want doughnuts
Anyway here's another doughnut - I mean chapter, God dammit I really what a fricken doughnut
Let's try this again, here's another chapter for being awesome and getting this pile of words to 14k reads.
I am starting to develop mild writer's block so if you have any ideas just comment them and if I think it fits it might be in the next chapter but for now I must say farewell, have a wonderful day you lovely people. ✌🏻🖖🏻👌🏻

Chapter song- little lion man - originally by Mumford & sons but the one in the media box is a cover by Tonight Alive.