Chapter Fifty Eight

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"So they're racist?"

Mom closed her eyes and shook her head yes.

So we going to that now. Racism. That shit is so stupid. My own grandparents hate me because of who my dad married and my own skin color. We're blood.

"But mom it's 2016, why are people still racist?" I asked, feeling like a child asking her why the sky was blue.

"I don't know Kareem. You just have to still love them even though you do not understand their ways. I'm so sorry sweetheart. Really I am," she said.

"But that still doesn't tell me why dad doesn't like Justin. Is dad racist?" I asked her.

She began having this expression on her face like she's trying to find the right words to say. It took her a moment before she finally spoke again. "I don't want to say that he is racist but he just doesn't like the way his race treat black people and how they can't just view us as people."

"He feels that white people will never get past racism and never get passed how we were free. So he just doesn't like his race."

I took in all she said and felt that there was more to what she's not telling me.

"Ma spit it out. There's more to it."

"Kareem-"

"Ma, c'mon I need to know why."

She grabbed my hand and looked me dead in the eyes. She kissed my cheek once more and held my hands to her chest. "Kareem this story that I'm about to tell you is something that I wanted buried deep down in the back of my mind and something that I never want to think about again."

Tears began to swell in her eyes and slide down her cheek.

"See once when your father and I was younger, we fell madly in love with each. He was so handsome and was completely different from all of the guys that I've dated. And I don't exactly know how we fell in love, it just kind of happened."

"My mother was applying to be on of the housekeepers for a temporary amount of time since she was laid off from work even though my dad made quite enough of money. But she wasn't lazy, she wanted to be the provider for the house too. So one day, I was walking to your grandparents home to get the keys from my mother. Before going up the stairs, I was knocked down and my books flew everywhere. I was about to curse whoever knocked me down until I was being lifted on my feet."

My mom took in a deep breath before continuing the story.

"He said he was sorry and began to pick up my books while I was picking them up also and while I was reaching for one book, he did also. Our hands touched and that's when cliché things started to happen. Fireworks exploded, butterflies in my stomach, just everything that made me feel special. Our eyes meet and he the most gorgeous hazel eyes ever. Now fast forward to two months later, your father and I became friends and he would always try to get me to date him but I couldn't because this was a temporary thing since my mom was going to quit soon."

"So on a special night, he called my phone and I was kind of confused since it was 2 a.m in the morning. He called and he was hysterical. He asked me to come over and I immediately hopped out of bed and went to his house."

By now my mom had tears pouring out of her eyes and I didn't really know if it was happiness or from sadness.

"So I came over and he has tears in his eyes and I asked him what was wrong. He just wouldn't talk to me about whatever was on his mind until I told him that everything was going to be okay. Then he kissed me with such passion and love and told me that everything wasn't going to be okay until he had me. He expressed how much he loved and cared for me and I reciprocated his feelings and that's when we started to date."

Still confused on what this had to do with my rasict grandparents.

"Ma that still doesn't clarify of grandma and granddad," I told her. She hit me and told me to hush.

"I'm getting there boy. So after four months of dating, I felt that it was time for me to meet his parents but he never let me. He always had an excuse for me not seeing them until he invited me to a ball because we hadn't seen each other in three days. So we were having a good time at the ball until his parents wanted to see me and I was excited. I thought he would be too. While we were going upstairs to see the King he told me that whatever his parents did or said that it isn't true and he loves me. The meet was a disaster. His dad was so mean and vile and made me feel worthless. I felt that I wasn't good for Ethan. His father called me a nigger and a whore and everything else and I felt hurt. Your father had enough and he walked out and grabbed me and we left the ball. Your grandparents still hates me to this day."

I had an uneasy feeling in my stomach and I couldn't do anything but kiss and hold my mom. "But mom they don't even know you, us."

"I know sweetheart but that's why your father doesn't like white people. Ever since that day of the ball he turned coldhearted towards his family and ever other white person because he felt that they always would judge color. I know that isn't right but he felt hurt by his parents behavior towards me. Just talk to him for better understanding of his feelings."

I dried her eyes and kissed my mom's head. "I'm so sorry ma that you had to go through that."

She gave me a small smile. "Its okay baby because if I never went through that, I never would have have my heart and soul. You and Kacey." She got up from the sofa and grabbed my hand.

"Let's go talk to your father."

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