Dalliance |h.s|

Ch. XXXI {we aren't 12, c'mon now}

"Lavender" Marcel takes a deep breath and moves over to sit by me on his bed. I scoot over and cling to the wall. If i so much as brush against him i'm not going to be able to go through with this. "Please. Explain to me why we shouldn't be together anymore?"

"Are you kidding? Take right now for instance, and Professor Tomlinson and Monica and back at your parents, and at mine-" I hiccup, finally giving up and sobbing uncontrollably. I grab my face and calm myself down before looking back over at him and finding that wasn't the best idea.

"Listen-"

"Is this what it felt like? Is this what it was like for you... to find out i- i cheated"

"Don't say that, Tomlinson pretty much raped you the last time and you were intoxicated with Monica. I don't hold that against you. As for my parents, i'm really sorry i didn't tell you before that they already held a grudge over you but-"

"Marcel do you hear yourself? Have you gone mad? You need to learn to let go, I'm no good for you! Your parents even figured so! Look you can't keep making excuses for me! We... we need a break and it'd do us both some good-"

"Lavender, please-"

"THIS is ME, taking responsibilities for my actions and i need to go through with this to-"

"To what?! Settle your conscience? A relationship needs two people to make it work and it's like you don't even want to try and fix this. I feel like you're just running away from your problems and you and i both know that's never the right thing to do! Welcome to the real world where we work on broken relationships and bust our asses trying to make a living! If you aren't ready to be an adult than maybe we should break up!" He wipes his hand through his hair again and sighs. 

"So it's settled then... we're through?"

"Lavender Oaken, are you telling me you never, not once, loved me throughout our 6 month relationship? Every time we had sex, when i took you to my parents, when you took me to see your parents, you're saying you never thought we might get married or have children?" I started crying again because... i had already planned our wedding and names for our kids and yes i love Marcel but he is going places and i'm still not sure what i'm going to eat for lunch tomorrow.

"No, I never loved you" I whimper.

"Bullshit, Lavender" He stood off the bed and even he started tearing up. 

"I never... loved you" I try and say it and really mean it but i can't. "I'm sorry-"

"Look me in the eyes and tell me you don't love me" He spins around and grabs my knees, his face centimeters from mine.

"I d-don't love-" I cried and turned my head to the side, closing my eyes. "Marcel we need a break!"

"I love you too" he places his lips on my forehead and leaves them there.

"Marcel" i whisper.

"Sh baby" He kisses my cheeks, then my nose, then my chin and cheekbones and eyebrows and ears. 

"Marcel" i lean into his chest and he stops. His arms slowly wrap around me.

"You know... it's been a while since- and maybe that's what's wrong. You just felt deprived and alone and i haven't been taking care of you the way you need to be cared for. I love you so much it hurts, and right now you're only making it worse. Please" he pleads one last time.

"We can't-"

"Sh, we don't need that kind of negativity in our relationship" He pushes me back on the bed and flips us so we're both laying more comfortably. He pulls the duvet over us both and holds me close. I want to call it off and leave but i can't.

I love him too much and i'm too selfish to not enjoy this moment with him. I finally reopen my eyes and look at Marcel. His eyes are red and puffy and sad, his nose pink from being wiped at. I put my hand on his face and brush my thumb under his eyes, wiping away the stray tears.

"Marcel?"

"Yes, love?"

"You know how you're always right?"

He laughs, "Um, let's say i know what you mean"

"Well you were right again..."

"Right about what?" He smirks, almost knowingly.

"I do love you... I really love you... with my whole being"

"Tell me something i don't know" He kisses my nose and smiles.

"I've just been... confused lately"

"About what?" He begins twirling my hair, staring as the strands swirl around his fingers and fall back onto the pillow.

"How are we supposed to get past all of this?" I look up at him and he, down at me.

"Like this, I forgive you" He gives me a big smooch on my lips and grins.

"It can't be that easy-"

"ah ah ah! But it is, i just did it. The past is in the past" He kisses me again.

"Marcel!" I whine.

"Hey, now all you gotta do is forgive me and we're all good"

"What could i possibly need to forgive you for? You're the good one in this situation" I smile for the first time in a few days.

"Well as much as i hate to admit it-"

"Oh my god, don't tell me you actually brought her here to sleep with her-!"  I scrunch my nose up and he just smiles.

"She was here for notes" He laughs, "Nah i just let her kiss my cheek before we came in" He shrugs. "I feel pretty bad about it though so please forgive me"

I smile and try not to cry. "When did i get so lucky?" I sit up and start to cry, but for the first time tonight, they're happy tears. 

"I love you Lavender" He sits up as well and rubs my back before leaning closer and kissing my temple.

"I love you" I whisper.

+++

I ALMOST GOT CAUGHT MONDAY NIGHT AGH! MY MOM WALKED IN AND WAS LIKE WHAT'RE YOU DOING AND I JUST "NOOOOTHIIIIING" SHE TOOK MY PHONE (she's seen a lot worse) AND SO I'M HERE ON MY LAPTOP AND yea sorry for the late update. Still love you all though!

Ciao! Moi ;*