Dalliance |h.s|

Ch. XXX {all good things must come to an end}

After telling Matty half of what actually went down, due to standing distrust, i decided i wasn't ready to be back at uni yet and would continue getting notes from peers. I ended up staying with my parents an extra week, not bothering to mention it to Marcel, and figured i'd get my shit together. I love Marcel. I love Monica. But those are two very different kinds of love now.

Monica is nowhere near sister-like, she's only the best friend i've ever had and it wouldn't kill me to appreciate her more and not avoid her. I understand why now, why she's pined after me all these years and it's because i denied her the benefits of friendship for so long when i should've just stayed cool and kept being her friend after things got bad.

Marcel is my boyfriend and if i love him nearly as much as i tell him then i need to start acting like it. It's like ever since i lost my virginity, when this whole goddamn thing started, i decided to become the person everyone thought me to be. But it doesn't have to be that way and i know that now. I don't like the person i've become, i liked the old me better. At least i wasn't constantly hurting someone i deeply care about.

Having thought everything through, replaying different scenarios in my mind, i'm currently on a train back to Uni. Upon arrival back at the dorms, i walk in on Matty and Spencer doing the do.

"Nice to see you guys made up" i say, tossing my bags in a corner and laying down on my bed. I pull my phone out and open twitter, checking on Marcel's (i made him one and told him to use it so we both could know if something's wrong) account.

"Welcome home!" they both say nonchalantly still pounding into each other.

"Am i welcome?" I laugh, pulling up Marcel's twitter after what felt like forever and noticed i wasn't in his bio anymore. "Have either of you talked to Marcel lately?" i say without really thinking.

"The nerd?"

"Thanks, i've gone soft and can't finish" Spencer whines, pulling out of Matty and putting his boxers back on.

"I meant Harry, sorry, they look an awful lot alike dontcha think?" nice save.

"Haven't seen him around actually but if it's the nerd you want then yea, i seen him around. Oddly enough, with some girl. Probably autistic, no one takes geek for a looker I mean c'mon. Harry's got class, don't compare them" Matty sneers.

"You guys are so dumb it physically pains me sometimes. Anyways, i'm gonna go find harry and see if he wants to hang out or something-"

"FUCKEEEEMM"

I race out the door and slam it shut before anyone else can hear Spencer's inappropriate war cry.

-

I knock on his door and stand there waiting like an idiot while other guys stop and stare at me with these sick smiles on their faces. When no one comes to the door i give up and look around for some other little nerd that normally would never dare talk to me.

"You!" I point at a not so new transfer student from the US with a cute little bow tie and he turns around in shock. "Do you know where Marcel is? He's not answering his door, He has some notes that i need for a class"

"He's with Lola, only the love of my life, that bastard-"

"Do you know where they are?"

"Duh, the whole university knows and they're probably all crammed in the window wondering how he ever got a girl to like him-"

"NAMES DUDE"

"IT'S A DINER THAT'S ALL I KNOW I SWEAR"

There's only one diner he'd take her to that he knows would hurt me the most.

-

I walk to the diner thinking i should go in calm, proceed with previous plan, and then leave. Or i can barge in and say it's over and then leave. But i probably shouldn't do that, I mean, I deserve this.

I stop in my tracks and stand there for a moment before turning and going back to his dorm. I take out the key he gave me and unlock his door, crawling into his bed and kicking my shoes off. This is what it felt like for him... only a million times worse because i had sex with 2 other people and he's just out on a date with 1.

I laid there and sulked for hours before keys started to jingle and the doorknob started turning. I half hoped it would just be Bobby but much to my dismay, it was Marcel... Followed by Lola. Both of them laughing, probably another bad joke of Marcel's, when the light was turned on and they both immediately froze.

I wanted to start crying but i wasn't worthy of crying. This is what Marcel went through and if he can do it, i can do it. But in a moment neither of us will ever have to go through this again.

"Lavender?" Marcel's voice is low and his tone unknown, whether i be sad, angry, confused or happy.

"I'm sorry, i got back and Matty and Spencer were doing things in my room and I couldn't think of anywhere else to go so i came here" I blurt, still trying extremely hard not to cry.

"Um, Lola-"

"Not a good time, i get it. Maybe next week!" She looks at me and then walks up to Marcel and kisses his cheek. "See you in class" She says before finally leaving.

i rub my knees and plan to abort mission. "I'll go too I'm really sorry i ruined your night, i wasn't aware you were bringing home company-"

"Lavender, what are you really doing here?" Marcel sits down in his rolly chair and looks at me with confusion. "If you were back and wanted to hang out you could've just texted me" He says and i start to feel even worse.

"She's really pretty you know" I mutter, biting my lip, refusing to cry.

"Who?"

"Lola, and word is she's super smart"

"What're you getting at?"

"She'd treat you right-"

"Stop that, stop it now" He runs a hand through his hair and looks at me.

"I"m not wrong though am i?"

"Lavender, what are you saying?" He puts his head in his hands and i can hear him taking short, quick breathes as though he were trying not to cry as well.

"I'm saying... I think it's time that we-" My words catch in my throat but i force them to come out. "Break up"

+++

I'm going to end it here just to be mean hehehehehehe but hey gotta stick with the title, you know what i'm saying? I'll update again tonight so don't worry about it too much.

Ciao! Moi ;*