Rebecca's POV
Josh's birthday (September 10th)
Sorry, I need to make things interesting
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I've been living in Pennsylvania for a few months, now. The drama between Richard and I has almost dissolved. I still love him, but I know that I'd be opening Pandora's box by contacting him.
It's going to be awkward tonight since it's Josh's birthday and we're throwing a party for him. Which means that Ricky will be there.
Maybe, I'll just get drunk and I won't notice him.
Today, is also the day they all come home from tour. I get to see my Ryan again.
Our relationship has gone great, he's so caring and he's willing to go to the ends of the earth for me. I hope he doesn't drop the L word anytime soon. Not because I don't love him, I care about him and all but I feel like that word isn't ready to be said in our relationship yet, especially with me still being in love with my ex-boyfriend.
I wish I could be with Richard again but I really care and like Ryan and I still can't look past the fact that he lied to me.
"Becca, come on, we need to go to the restaurant and get everything set up" Ryan-Ashley said. I nodded and followed her to her car.
We got in the car and pulled out of the parking lot of the apartment complex.
"Ryan, can I tell you something?" I asked.
"Of course! What is it?" She asked.
"You need to promise not to tell anybody, not even Josh and especially not Ryan" I told her.
"Okay, go ahead and tell me" she said.
"I'm still in love with Ricky, but I feel like I love Ricky more than I love Ryan" I told her.
"Just ignore those feelings, Rebecca. You'll get over him eventually" she suggested.
"I hope I'll get over him, I feel like I'm lying to Ryan" I sighed.
"Then talk to him, tell him that you still have feelings for Ricky" she said.
"I don't want him to break up with me!" I said, breaking down into tears.
"You'll either have to ignore those feelings or tell Ryan" she said.
"I know, Ryan..." I sighed.
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The party has begun. Ricky hasn't noticed me yet, thank god.
Ryan has been frisky all night. I think he thinks he's getting some. Well... I guess we'll just have to see how drunk we get. I'm pretty buzzed right now. I'm still pretty aware of my surroundings. Will I remember important details of tonight? Probably not.
"Babe, I have to go pee, I'll be right back" I told Ryan, he kissed me before I got out of his lap.
I walked to the bathroom. Before I walked into the bathroom, I was stopped by somebody.
"Hey, Becky-bear" I heard Richard slur. Great. This night is ruined.
"Don't call me that" I stated flatly.
"It's been a while, we need to catch up" he suggested.
"I don't think so" I replied.
"If you're curious on how I've been doing, I've just been wondering why you don't love me, I love you" he slurred. I stared at him. I do love him though.
"I do love you, though" I blurted out on accident. I covered my mouth.
"You do love me?" He asked. I've already said it, there's no lying now.
"Yes" I blushed. He pulled me into the bathroom and locked the door behind us.
"If you love me, then why are you with Ryan?" He asked.
"Because I love Ryan as well" I said.
"But you love me more right?" He asked. I looked down at the ground shyly. He lifted my head up by putting a finger under my chin.
His lips touched mine. Even though we were drunk, this kiss was so soft and passionate, better than the kisses Ryan and I have shared.
I kissed back. The sober part of me didn't want to do this to Ryan but the drunk part of me wouldn't let me pull away and protect Ryan and I's relationship.
Ricky pulled away and we looked into each others eyes.
Before I knew it, our tongues were down each other's throats and clothes were coming off.
I guess I'm really doing this.
I hope I don't remember any of this tomorrow, I don't think I can live with myself, knowing that I hurt a really good guy by having a stupid one night stand with my shitty ex-boyfriend.
