HIS DOLL

68- Desperation Under The Rain

In the first rain of the season, I stood in the courtyard to let the cold droplet wash my sorrow but to no avail, nothing shifted the twinge in me.

In my white shirt with two buttons open and roughly rolled sleeves and gray pants. My beloved hated black color on me after all...

No one was present at home except for Mother, she was sleeping so that left me and Aalifa.

Saira was worried about Zakir's disappearance so she was at her home too, giving me an open opportunity to feel redemptive.

My body was soaked in water as I was staring at the flowers before me in loneliness. I had been carrying a hefty weight in my chest for too long and I believed it was time to open it.

All because that one sentence triggered me.

'Why did you show me that you love me when you didn't?'

As I was standing with cold water drenching me, a voice called me from behind.

"Zaviyaar...?"

I didn't react but Aalifa knew it was me.

She yelled when I didn't react, "What are you doing there!? Come inside, you will catch a cold!"

My back was facing her, my lips began to quiver, curling my hand in a fist, my beats pumped rapidly. A strain rushed in my veins, rendering me unable to think.

"Ya Allah, the water is so cold."

Upon watching me in the rain, she came with an umbrella and it pierced right through my chest.

'I hurt you so much yet no one but you came to stand beside me...'

That thought blurred my vision as I turned to the woman before me, frowning at me. Covering me under her shade still I found myself too far from her.

It felt like no matter how far my sight will extend- I won't find her there.

"What are you doing? Come inside. You will definitely get sick."

Before she could continue to scold me, holding my hand.

I swallowed hard, hovering over her, scanning her thoroughly, how desirable she looked.

"Aalifa."

"What is it- what are you doing?!"

She was about to continue angrily but I took the umbrella away from her and threw it away.

She shivered when rain also soaked her, gasping as I did it to hide the tears brimming in my eyes.

"Zaviyaar! Give it to me!" She shouted, extending her hand out but I held her wrist to make her focused on my demoralization.

"There is something in my heart that I wanted to confess for a long time but each time I thought, it made me feel you would call it a lie." I whispered as softly as possible, tracing my fingers on the lines of her palm.

Unfortunately, I didn't find my name anywhere.

"What is it now?" She sighed, yanking her hand back and hugging herself while shivering.

Inhaling sharply, my heart felt like it would leap out of my chest, my hands and mind were numbed.

"I kept suppressing it and now it began to hurt me that I feel blazed to an unendurable point."

A restriction around my throat attempted to stop me but I didn't listen and forced myself to continue. Tears already stole my vision so it would make it easier to not witness the hatred in her eyes.